What do you do when you’re blue in the face and bein’ green around the gills? Well, if the answer isn’t to eat some sort of leafy green, I don’t know what is. Also, ask yourself why using my puns is good for the ecos-sphere.
Nature seems boring at the first glance but when you stare at it long enough it will become exciting. There’s no better way to prove this than looking at our 40 green jokes.
Green Puns
I’m “fern” of green puns.
I would “herbly” appreciate more green puns.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was “out-standing” in his field.
You “pea” me off when you don’t appreciate my green puns.
Don’t “leaf” these green puns behind.
My love for you is like a “succulent” plant – it grows stronger every day.
These green puns are “mint” to be shared.
What do you call a fake noodle? An “impasta”.
Birds can be so “fowl” sometimes.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad “dressing.
I “dig” these green puns.
A stitch in time “saves thyme”.
Are you “lettuce” entertain you with more puns?
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
You’re “a-peeling” to me.
Green Jokes
Did you hear about the plant detective? He cracked the case wide open because he had a “green thumbprint.”
Teacher: “Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?” Student: “I don’t know, why?” Teacher: “Because the ‘p’ is silent.
Why did the gardener go to jail? Because he was guilty of “weed”-ing without a permit.
What do you call a mischievous vegetable? A “prankensprout.”
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A “gummy bear.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad “dressing.”
What do you call a sleeping bull? A “bulldozer.”
What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the “corn“-er.
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many “problems.”
How do you organize a space party? You “planet.”
What do you call a bear with no ears? Anything you want, it can’t hear you.
What kind of tree can fit into your hand? A palm tree.
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
Did you hear about the chicken that crossed the road? It was practicing its “egg“-ercise routine.
Green Pick-Up Lines
“Are you a plant? Because being around you makes me feel so alive and oxygenated.”
“I must be a tree, because when I see you, I can’t help but feel rooted in your beauty.”
“Are we both photosynthesizing? Because we’re getting some serious chemistry here.
“Can I take you out on a date? We can have a picnic in the park and share some organic, locally-sourced snacks.”
“Are you a sustainable energy source? Because you’ve got the power to light up my world.”
Let’s be like two peas in a pod and grow our love together, naturally and organically.
You must be a green thumb, because everything you touch flourishes, including my heart.
Do you believe in the circle of life? Because I’d love to be a part of your growth and make memories that last a lifetime.”
“They say the grass is always greener on the other side, but with you by my side, I know I’m on the right side.”
“Do you have a map? Because I seem to have gotten lost in your beautiful, green eyes.