Football is that one sport that many of us love to sit down and watch. It is exciting and can keep us at the edge of our seats especially if we’re a fan of our favorite team.
Are you a fan of American football? Do you love puns?
I’ve done a lot of research so you don’t have to. This list of American Football puns is large enough for any occasion or situation.
American Football Puns
Why do football players love ketchup? Because they always want to touchdown it.
What do you call a dog at an American football game? A pup-tato.
Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback.
What do you call a cheese that plays football? Provolone-tackler.
Why aren’t football stadiums ever hungry? Because they’re always surrounded by chips and dips.
What do you call a ghost that haunts American football games? The quarterback-geist.
What do you call a football player who drinks too much soda? A fizz-cal penalty.
Why did the football player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score.
What did the coach say to the football before the game started? Don’t fumble on my watch.
Why are football stadiums always humid? Because of the sideline fans.
What do you call a football player who dances too much? A shuffle-pass.
Why couldn’t the football coach take his dog to work with him? Because he was a boxer.
What do you call it when a football player farts during a game? A quarterback sneak.
Why did the football player break up with his girlfriend? She was a cheetah (cheerleader).
What do you call a football player who overdresses? An endzone dresser.
Why do football players need socks? To cover their game-feet.
What do you call a football player who’s always dropping things? A butterfingers receiver.
Why do referees go to school? To get a good education in foot-rulings.
What do you call a football player who’s always late? A delay-of-game offender.
What do you call it when a football player’s pants fall down? A tackle-ripple.
American Football Jokes
What do you call a football player who loves condiments? A touchdown enthusiast.
Did you hear about the lineman who opened a bakery? His turnovers were legendary.
Why did the scarecrow become a football player? He was outstanding in his field.
What do you get if you cross a football player with a flower? A wide receiver.
How do football players stay cool during games? They stand near the fans.
What do you call a football player who becomes a dentist? A tackle-tooth remover.
Why did the football team go to the bakery? They needed a good roll-out strategy.
Did you hear about the insect who loved American football? He was always the buzz of the game.
How do football players stay warm during winter games? They huddle up.
What did the coach say to the football team about their messy locker room? “Clean up your game.”
Why did the football player bring a ladder to practice? To reach for the high passes.
What did the football player say when the quarterback offered him a seat? “I’d rather stand my ground.”
Why did the football coach always carry a cookbook? He liked to call the shots on the menu.
What did the football say when it was stuck in traffic? “I hope they don’t call a delay of the game penalty on me.”
Why did the football player start a band? He wanted to throw touchdown passes and rock out at the same time.
What do you call a football player with a sweet tooth? A sugar-rushing end.
Why did the computer go to the football game? To support its favorite byte receivers.
What did the football player say to the coach on a hot day? “I’m feeling burnt out, coach.”
Why did the football team go broke? They kept dropping the ball.
What do you call a football player who’s always quick on his feet? A runningback-flash.
American Football Pick-Up Lines
Are you a football? Because I’d like to kick it with you.
You must be some kind of runningback, because you stole my heart on the first play.
I didn’t believe in love at first sight until I saw you in that football jersey.
You have great arms. Do you play quarterback?
I can’t stop staring at you. Is it just me or do you have a tight end?
The way you carry yourself is impressive. Are you a linebacker?
I think you’re the safety to my heart.
My love for football is matched only by the love I have for you.
I’d love to tackle whatever obstacles are in your way.
Do you play defensive tackle? Because nobody can get past you on my watch.
I don’t usually go for the sidelines, but I’ll make an exception for you.
You bring a whole new meaning to the term “touchdown.”
Are you a football coach? Because I can’t stop listening to you.
I think I just scored a touchdown because I found you.
I don’t need a team to make me feel complete, because I’ve got you on my side.
Do you play in the NFL? Because you have all the qualities I look for in a player.
Just like in football, I’ll never drop the ball when it comes to you.
You run routes better than anyone else I’ve seen. Are you sure you’re not a receiver?
Can I be your waterboy? I promise to keep you hydrated and always be by your side.
You’re the Hail Mary pass I’ve been looking for my whole life.
Short American Football Puns
A good quarterback is always on the ball.
The punter’s got to be quick on his feet.
The fullback can’t be sidelined.
The ref’s call is always the final say.
A running back is always on the move.
A high-scoring game is always a touchdown for the fans.
The defensive line can’t be broken.
A good kicker has to have a kickin’ attitude.
The team huddles up for a reason.
A good offense is always one step ahead.
The football field is where the action happens.
A successful tackle is a big hit.
The coach always has the game plan.
Football players never drop the ball.
A well-timed interception can turn the game around.
The locker room is where players get pumped.
The endzone is the ultimate goal.
The cheerleaders keep the team’s spirits up.
A good pass is always a catch.
The football season is never long enough.