August is here – the month where you pack up your summer clothes and leave the sand on the beach.
Sometimes the heat is unforgiving. There are just as many days over a hundred degrees as there are cooler days, so it’s important to refresh yourself on the hottest holidays of the month.
Ah summer, the time for picnics, beach trips and bright sunshine. Then autumn, the time for hot chocolate, comfy sweaters and colourful leaves. And then there’s winter. Just kidding..
I’ve put together a list of funny ideas to keep you cool, both literally and figuratively, as we move through August.
Best August Jokes
Why did the scarecrow win an award in August? Because he was outstanding in his field!
What do you call a pig that loves summertime? A hot dog!
Why did the tomato turn red in August? Because it saw the salad dressing!
How do you fix a broken tomato in August? With tomato paste.
What did one watermelon say to the other watermelon during the heatwave? “Can’t we just go to the beach and melon-out?”
Why don’t oysters donate to charity in August? Because they are shellfish!
What happens when you throw a blue rock into the yellow sea in August? It gets wet!
Why did the sun go to school in August? To get brighter!
Did you hear about the vegetable that couldn’t find its way home in August? It lost its beet!
Why did the bicycle fall over in August? Because it was two-tired!
What fruit will you never see in August? A snowball!
What happens when the ocean waves go on vacation in August? They have a wave pool party!
Why did the scarecrow bring a ladder to the beach in August? Because he wanted to listen to the high tide!
What do you call a snowman in August? A puddle!
What month is made out of gold? Au-gust!
August Puns
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a shark in August? Frost bites!
Did you hear about the calendar thief in August? He got twelve months.
Why did the August calendar refuse to take a bath? It didn’t want to end the summer!
What did August say to the rest of the months? “I’m hotter than all of you combined!”
Why can’t you take your dog to the beach in August? Because it’s hot and they might become a hot dog!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms in August? Because they make up everything!
Why don’t ghosts go on vacation in August? Because they’re scared of spirits!
What do you get when you plant kisses in August? Tulips!
What do you get when you cross a microwave with a clock in August? A time machine!
Why did the farmer break up with his girlfriend in August? He found someone better to stalk corn with.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea in August? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants in August? In case he got a hole-in-one!
Why did the tomato turn red in August and want to go to a party? Because it wanted to ketchup with friends!
What do you call a lazy kangaroo in August? A pouch potato!
What do you call a magician who’s lost his magic in August? Ian!
Short August Jokes
Did you hear about the cornfield in August? It was stalk-full.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea in August? Because if they flew over the beach, they’d be bagels.
What do you call a pig in August? A hot hog.
Why don’t oysters give to charity in August? They’re shellfish.
How do you fix a broken tomato in August? With tomato paste.
Why did the tomato turn red in August? It saw the salad dressing.
Why did the scarecrow win an award in August? He was outstanding in his field.
What do you call a flower that runs on electricity in August? A power plant.
Why did the pencil break up with the eraser in August? It felt too constrained.
What did one plate say to the other plate in August? Dinner is on me!