Have you ever met someone who didn’t like Brussels sprouts? Yeah, I haven’t either. Nearly all of us have grown up on them, some of us love them (me!) and others hate them with a passion.
But no matter what side of the fence you fall on when it comes to these mini cabbages, you’ll love this list of 50 Brussels Sprouts jokes.
Brussels Sprouts Jokes
Why did the Brussels sprout bring an umbrella? Because it heard it was going to drizzle!
What’s a Brussels sprout’s favorite type of dance? The sprout shuffle!
Why are Brussels sprouts so polite? Because they always say, “Leaf me alone!”
How do you make a Brussels sprout giggle? You tickle its roots!
What do you call a Brussels sprout that can’t stop talking? A chatty sprout!
Why did the Brussels sprout go to therapy? It had some serious stalk issues!
How do you catch a Brussels sprout? Hide in the bushes and make a “sssssprout” sound!
What do Brussels sprouts use to navigate through traffic? A sprout GPS!
What did the Brussels sprout say when it won an award? “I’m head and leaves above the rest!”
How do you know if Brussels sprouts are playing hide-and-seek? They turnip all over the place!
What do you call a group of Brussels sprouts attending a concert? The sprout choir!
Why did the Brussels sprout refuse to play cards? It was too afraid of getting dealt!
How do you wish a Brussels sprout a happy birthday? I hope your celebration is bowl-ing you over!
Why did the Brussels sprout go on a diet? It wanted to become sproutacular!
What do Brussels sprouts do on New Year’s Eve? They make resolutions to become even more sproutstanding!
Brussels Sprouts Puns
Did you hear the one about the Brussels sprout that opened up a gym? It was called “Squat-a-lot-of-sprouts”.
Why did the Brussels sprout switch to decaf? It was warned that it was turning into an insomni-sprout.
My girlfriend said she wanted to break up with me because all I talk about is Brussels sprouts. I guess I was just guilty of sprouting my love on her a little too hard.
What’s a Brussels sprout’s favorite creative medium? An arti-choke.
Why did the Brussels sprouts go to the doctor? They were feeling a little green around the gills.
You know what they say: when life gives you Brussels sprouts, make lemons out of them. Wait, that’s not right…
Why did the chef rub his Brussels sprouts with garlic? To give them a little sprout zing.
A Brussels sprouts walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender says, “I can’t serve you that.” The sprout asks, “Why not?”
Why did the Brussels sprout take up dancing? It was looking for ways to branch out.
You know you’re in trouble when you find Brussels sprouts in the crisper. Because that means someone is in your kitchen changing the vegetable.
How can you tell if a Brussels sprout is from a rich family? Its sprout-liner is lined with lettuce.
Why did the Brussels sprout stand on the counter? To see what was a-peeling.
How does a Brussels sprout get ready for a night on the town? With a little kale-and-colory.
Did you know that Brussels Sprouts are great computer programmers? They’re expert cod-leafing.
Why is it hard to make friends with Brussels sprouts? They’re just too darn hard to get close to.
Brussels Sprouts One-Liner
Why did the tiny green vegetable become a stand-up comedian? It had some really corny jokes!
What did the little green veggie say when it made a mistake? Oops, I really carrot about that!
Why did the little green vegetable win the dance competition? It had some rad-ish moves!
What did the small green veggie say to its friend? Lettuce be peas and carrots forever!
Why did the green vegetable take up gardening? It wanted to turnip its life!
Why did the Brussels Sprout cancel its yoga class? It couldn’t find its inner peas.
I asked a Brussels sprout to play hide-and-seek. It took me a leaf and stem to find it!
What did one Brussels sprout say to the other? We make a pretty great bunch!
Why did the Brussels sprout go to school? It wanted to learn how to grow in the stalk market.
What do you call a Brussels sprout on a roller coaster? A thrillseeds!
Why did the Brussels sprout start a band? It wanted to be a part of the vegetable “celery.
What do you call a Brussels sprout tell-all memoir? Stalking My Green Dreams.
How do Brussels sprouts like to relax? They soak in a hot tub of olive oil.
Why are Brussels sprouts so well-behaved? They’ve got great “stalk” models.
What kind of music do Brussels sprouts like? Beet-hop!
Why did the little green vegetable start a band? It had a rad-ish idea for making salad tunes!
What did the small vegetable say to its sibling? “You’re my broc-and-roll!”
How did the tiny green vegetable become famous? It had incredible “a-peel”!
What did the little green veggie say to the hungry person? “Lettuce romaine friends forever!”
Why did the green vegetable enter a cooking competition? It wanted to squash the competition with its amazing recipes!