A bus station is where a bus stops, a train station is where the train stops, on my desk I have a workstation…okay, that was pretty bad. Jokes aside though, buses play an important role in transportation of people from one place to another.
If you own a bus, work on a bus or ride transit – these jokes are for you.
Here’s a free list of 60 jokes about buses.They’re clean and great for sharing with passengers (or drivers) on your next bus ride. There are puns, current event references, sarcasm, math wordplay, and more
Best Bus Jokes
Did you hear about the bus driver who went on strike? He refused to move a muscle.
Why did the bus stop break up with the engine? It just couldn’t handle the pressure.
What do you call a bus with a full load of people? Too much baggage.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To catch the bus to the other side.
How many bus drivers does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but he has to do it on his break.
Why did the old lady refuse to get off the bus? She was enjoying the ride too much.
Have you heard about the new bus service that only accepts payment in jokes? It’s called the Laughing Bus.
What’s the best way to keep a bus driver awake? Give him a good disincentive.
Why did the passengers avoid the bus driver with a cold? He was coughing up fares.
What do you call a bus driver who can’t drive a stick shift? A bus rider.
How do you make a bus move without starting the engine? Just fill it with passengers and watch them start sweating.
What’s the difference between a bus and a train? The bus stops more often to pick up confused tourists.
How do you make a double-decker bus disappear? Just take off the top deck and it’s gone.
Why did the passengers complain to the bus company? The driver had a lead foot… on the brake pedal.
Did you hear about the bus that ran on vegetable oil? It took a while to ketchup with the other vehicles.
Bus Puns
I’m currently studying to become a bus driver. I’m steering in the right direction.
Did you hear about the bus conductor who lost his job? He just couldn’t get on board with the company’s rules.
I asked the bus driver if he knew any good puns. He replied, “I don’t know, I just drive the pun route.”
Why did the school bus get a bad report card? It wasn’t making the grade.
The bus driver didn’t want to be a comedian, because he didn’t want to drive people to laughter.
Have you heard about the musician who drives a tour bus? He’s always hitting the right notes.
The bus ride was bumpy, but the passengers weren’t fazed. They just took it in stride.
Why did the bus driver wear sunglasses? Because the road was full of bright ideas.
The bus driver always carries a first aid kit. After all, you never know when there might be a “bust” emergency.
The bus driver was a great chef. He could turn any ordinary bus ride into a delicious “fare” experience.
Did you hear about the bus that got a speeding ticket? It was in a “rush” to get to the destination.
The bus door had a great sense of humor. It always knew when to “open up” for a good pun.
The music on the bus was very catchy. The passengers couldn’t help but “bus-t” a move.
The bus driver had an excellent memory. He could always “recall” the best routes to take.
The bus driver always carried a map, just in case he needed to “navigate” through a challenging pun situation.
Bus One-Liners
I was on a bus once and the driver started telling me a joke. I told him to “give it a brake.”
I thought about becoming a bus driver, but I just didn’t have the drive for it.
What do you call a bus with a flat tire? A punctual bus – always arriving exactly when it’s expected.
Some people say taking the bus is for the birds, but I personally think it’s just fowl play.
Once, I managed to catch a bus that was already moving. Talk about a real time-saver.
The one thing worse than missing a bus is watching it drive away while you’re still standing at the stop. That’s a feeling I never want to “re-bus”.
Buses may be big, but they’re not scary. They’re just too “tyred” to be intimidating.
Riding the bus is like being on a rollercoaster… except there’s no guarantee of a fun ending.
I’d tell you a bus joke, but it might take too long to “get on board”.
Why did the school bus drivers have to wear sunglasses? Because their students were too bright.
The best way to study for a bus driving test is to “steer clear” of any unnecessary distractions.
Have you ever seen a bus with an additional sunroof? Me neither – that would be a double-decker convertible.
I’m convinced that there are only two types of people in this world: those who take the bus, and those who think they’re too “busted” for public transportation.
It’s always a relief when the bus arrives on time. Otherwise, you’re stuck waiting at the station with no “bus-iness” to occupy yourself with.
Riding the bus can be a real drag, but at least it’s not as bad as being stuck in traffic. Sometimes, you just can’t “car-ry” on.
Short Bus Jokes
Did you hear about the bus that went to the gym? It wanted to work on its “shorty” muscles.
Why did the short bus go to the bakery? It wanted to get some “loaf”.
How does the short bus communicate with other vehicles? It uses “compact” messaging.
What did the short bus say to the long bus? “You may have more seats, but I’ve got more style.”
Why did the short bus bring a ladder to the party? It wanted to make a grand “entrance”.
What do you call a short bus that loves to dance? A “groovy” transporter.
Why did the short bus bring a map to the picnic? It didn’t want to take any “detours”.
How does the short bus like its coffee? “Short and sweet”.
What do you call a short bus that can’t stop sneezing? A “mini-achoo”.
Why did the short bus enroll in a cooking class? It wanted to learn how to make “bite-sized” meals.
How does the short bus keep its tires in good shape? It goes for “short walks” every day.
What did the short bus say to the traffic light? “Can you please hurry up? I don’t have all day.”
Why did the short bus become a comedian? It wanted to prove that good things come in “small packages”.
What do you call a short bus that’s a great storyteller? A “mini-narrator”.
Why did the short bus start a band? It wanted to prove that size doesn’t matter when it comes to making “big” music.
Bus Jokes Generator Tools
Create more bus puns using this tool