ComputeComputers are amazing aren’t they? They do so many things. They can help us with work, play, and make our lives easier.
Computer jokes are a good way to make your day go just that little bit faster. These computer jokes will have you laughing out loud in no time.
Computer Puns
I’m a computer, but I’m not byte-ful. I’m hardly “byte”-sized.
The computer had a bad day, so I had to cheer it up. I told it a “RAM”-bunctious joke.
I tried to fix my computer by banging on it, but that didn’t help. I guess it needed a “swiper” restart.
My computer must have a sense of humor because it’s always “processing” my puns.
Why did the computer go to the dentist? Because it had “Bluetooth”.
The computer’s love for math is “exponential. It just can’t “count” its enthusiasm.
I was feeling down, so I asked my computer for a little love. It replied with “byte”-ful compliments.
Why did the computer bring a ladder? It wanted to reach the “cloud.
I have a computer that loves to dance. It’s got “rhythm”-sticks and a “byte”-ro.
My computer is so smart, it passed the Turing test with “flying colors.
Why did the computer join a gym? It just needed a little “byte” training.
My computer has a great sense of fashion. Its favorite accessory is a “mouse” pad.
My computer is feeling “keyboard-tious”. I think it needs a vacation.
What’s a computer’s favorite type of music? “Data” bass.
My computer is my best friend – we just “click” so well together.
I told my computer it was looking “mouse”-cular today. It replied with a “byte”-ful smile.
Why was the computer cold? It left its “windows” open.
I asked my computer for help, but it just kept “scrolling” away.
Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
I gave my old computer to charity. I guess you could say I “donated” it.
Computer Pick-Up Lines
Are you a computer program? Because my feelings for you are always running in an infinite loop.
Are you a keyboard? Because you’re just my type.
Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a connection.
Are you a computer? Because you’ve got my hard drive spinning.
Is your name Google? Because you’ve got everything I’m searching for.
Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.
Are you a computer virus? Because you’ve infected my heart.
Can I be the Ctrl to your C? Because together, we’d make a great copy.
Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m definitely feeling a strong signal between us.
Are you a computer program? Because I want to spend all my CPU cycles with you.
Will you be my JavaScript? Because I just can’t function without you.
Are you a keyboard? Because you’re my type and I can’t help but press all the right buttons.
Is your name Windows? Because you’ve made my heart crash and reboot in safe mode.
Do you believe in love at first website? Or should I refresh my browser?
Are you a computer? Because you’ve defragmented my heart and optimized my love life.
Can I run a virus scan on your heart? Because it seems like you’ve stolen mine.
Is your name Ethernet? Because I’m definitely feeling a strong connection between us.
Can I take you out for a byte? We could have a bit of a date.
Are you a computer? Because you make my software turn into hardware.
Is your name Adobe? Because when I’m with you, everything feels like a PDF, Perfectly Dreamy and Flawless.
Computer One-Liners
Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Less watts mean more syntax.
What do you call a group of hackers? A CTRL+ALT+DELETE.
Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
Why did the computer crash at the gym? It ran out of chips.
Why did the computer turn red? It read the deprecated code.
Why do people find it hard to understand technology? People are hardwired to misunderstand things.
A SQL query walks into a bar, goes to two tables and asks “can I join you?”
Why don’t computer engineers ever use buses? They prefer to catch the exceptions.
What did the wifi say to the ethernet port? You’ve got a great connection, want to hook up?
What do you call a stack of iPhones? An Apple Orchard.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
Google is a woman, it starts suggesting things before you can even finish your sentence.
Why was the computer cold? Someone left Windows open.
Siri, define regret. Siri: I do not have a definition for Charlie Sheen.
What did the big flower say to the little flower? “Hey, bud!”.
I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user-friendly.
Why don’t programmers like nature? It has too many bugs.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
What did the scientist say when he found two helium atoms? “He-He”.
Best Computer Jokes
Why don’t computer programmers like nature? It has too many bugs.
How do you fix a cracked laptop screen? With a ZIP file.
Why did the computer go to the party? Because it had a byte to eat.
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
Why did the computer catch a virus? It wasn’t wearing a byte mask.
How do you organize a space party? You “planet”.
Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a motherboard issue.
What do you call a computer that sings? A Dell.
Why couldn’t the computer take its hat off? It had CAPS LOCK on.
Why did the Excel spreadsheet go to therapy? It had too many columns and couldn’t handle it.
What do you get if you cross a computer and a lifeguard? A screensaver that saves lives.
Why did the computer call 911? Because it had a computer virus emergency.
How does a computer take a break? It goes for a byte.
Why did the computer go to art school? It wanted to become a graphic designer.
What do you call a smiley face on a computer screen? A screenshot.
How do you fix a broken website? With a browser history.
Why do computer scientists get confused between Christmas and Halloween? Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.
What do you call a bear without a computer? Unbearable.
Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a fever; it was running hot.
How do you know if your computer has a sense of humor? It’s always laughing at its own jokes.
Tech Jokes
Why couldn’t the computer take its hat off? It had CAPS LOCK on.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it’s a hardware issue.
Why did the smartphone go to therapy? It had too many apps-solutely.
Why did the computer sneeze? It had a virus.
How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots and gets Pixelated.
Why did the programmer always carry a ladder? To reach the top of the web page.
Why was the computer cold? Someone left Windows open.
What’s a computer’s favorite dance move? The Disk-o!
Why did the developer go broke? Because he lost his domain in a bet.
Why did the tech support specialist go broke? They couldn’t keep their clients on hold any longer.
Why don’t programmers like nature? It has too many bugs.
How do robots eat their pizza? Byte by byte.
How do you make a computer sleep? You press the space bar.
What did the computer do at the snack bar? It had some byte-sized chips and drank binary soda.
Why did the coding pirate fail? Because he couldn’t understand the codes, matey.
Why did the programmer quit his job? Because he didn’t get arrays.
Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
How do you know if your fridge is a computer? The light inside stays on, even when you close the door.
Why did the computer become a detective? It found an open Windows.
What do you call a popular computer font? Arial Bold.