Elephants are like walking, trumpeting bulldozers, leaving no tree or obstacle unturned. With their remarkable memory, they never forget a face or a good mud bath party.
Did you hear the one about the elephant named Pachyderm? Or the time when Tusk got in some hot water with a rhino? This list of 100 elephant jokes has them all.
Elephant Puns
Don’t forget to remember these elephant puns.
Elephants never forget, but these puns may be unforgettable too.
Why don’t elephants use computers? They’re afraid of “memory” loss.
I’m trunk in love with you.
Elephants are grey-t listeners.
Why do elephants wear sunglasses? To stop them getting “sun-blinded.”
Have you heard about the elephant who works at a Diner? He’s in charge of the Trunk Menu.
How did the elephant hide from his girlfriend? He “disguised” himself as a tree.
The elephant wanted to break up with his girlfriend, but he didn’t have the guts to “tusk” her face to face.
Why did the elephant wear sandals? Because he had “toenails” to show.
What do you call an elephant that can play musical instruments? A jam-pachyderm.
Elephants are great storytellers; they never forget the important details.
Have you ever seen an elephant do ballet? It’s “irrelephant” to think they can’t dance.
What do you call an elephant artist? A “Picasso-derm.”
The best way to catch an elephant? Hide in the brush and make a sound like a peanut.
Elephants are pretty thick-skinned – they can take a lot of criticism, so don’t hold back.
Why do elephants never use computers? They’re still afraid of mice!
What’s grey and can fly? An elephant on a trampoline.
The elephant couldn’t pay his bills, so he declared “ele-funko.”
If you need emotional support, an elephant is always ready to lend an “ear.”
Elephants are never in a hurry – they like to take things at their own “tusk.”
What do you call an elephant that never stops moving? A “jumbo-jogger.”
Why are elephants bad at telling jokes? Because they always “mart-barge” the punchline.
The elephant stopped telling jokes because nobody wanted to hear the “eleph-pun-t.”
Have you seen that new movie about elephants? It’s got a lot of “tusk” in it.
What do you call an elephant that won’t stop talking? A “jumbo-jabber.”
Why did the elephant break up with its girlfriend? She was too “heavy.”
Elephants never forget a face – unless they’re playing “hide and seek.”
What do you call an elephant that never pays attention? A “dumbo.”
Elephants are experts at being social – they always remember to “herd” in the good times.
Best Elephant Jokes
Why did the elephant bring a suitcase to the zoo? Because it wanted to pack its trunk.
What do you call an elephant that never washes? A smellyphant.
How do elephants greet each other at a party? They say, “Big pleasure to see you.”
Why did the elephant go to school? To learn the elephant-tary basics.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Elephino.
What does an elephant say after telling a funny joke? “I’m trunk-tingling funny.”
How does an elephant ask for a loan? It says, “I’m a little short.”
Why don’t elephants use cell phones? They already have an excellent “trunk” call service.
What happens when an elephant sits on a chair? It becomes an elephant-stool.
What did the grape say to the elephant? “Nothing! Grapes can’t talk, silly.
How do you know when an elephant is about to attack? When it raises its trunk and says, “Charge it.”
Why did the elephant become a taxi driver? It wanted to make trunk calls.
What do you find at the end of every elephant joke? The letter “E”.
How do you make an elephant float? Take two scoops of ice cream, add root beer, and a whole elephant.
What do you call an elephant that never gets caught? An ele-phantom.
Why do elephants never use computers? They’re afraid of the mouse.
How do you stop an angry elephant from charging? Take away its credit card.
Why did the elephant climb the ladder? To reach the “high notes” in the tree.
What’s gray, has eight legs, and a trunk? An elephant on roller skates.
Why did the elephant wear sunglasses? To hide from the paparazzi-pots.
What do you call an elephant wearing a pink tutu? A “ele-fantastic” ballerina.
How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Footprints in the Jell-O.
Why did the elephant buy a computer? So it could be on the “in-ter-trunk”.
What do you call an elephant that can play the piano? A grand-pachyderm.
How do you hire an elephant? Hand it an application and say: “Good luck, we’re rooting for you.
What do you call an elephant that won’t share its peanuts? A shellfish.
What’s the most dangerous part of an elephant? Its bark.
Why don’t elephants use computers? They prefer to stomp on bugs the old-fashioned way.
Why did the elephant go to the dentist? It wanted a new “tusk cap”.
What did the elephant do at the petting zoo? It introduced itself as the “ele-fun” of the party.
Elephant One-Liners
How do you make an elephant float? Two scoops of ice cream, soda, and a slice of elephant.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a kangaroo? Big holes in the ground.
Why did the elephant paint his toenails red? So he could hide in a cherry tree.
What do you call an elephant that flies? A Jumbo jet.
Why do elephants prefer baseball over soccer? They’re afraid of kicking the ball and mistaking it for peanuts.
What do you give an elephant with a cold? Lots of trunk space.
How do you know there’s an elephant in your bed? You can’t find your pillow.
Why did the elephant go to space? To see if it could spot a mouse from up high.
What do baby elephants sleep on? A trunk bed.
Why did the elephant break up with its boyfriend? He was too touchy-feely.
What do elephants use to keep their hair in place? A hair-trunk band.
Why did the elephant go to the dentist? To get a new set of tusks.
What’s gray and wrinkled and jumps every twenty seconds? An elephant on a trampoline.
How do you know if an elephant is under your bed? You bump into its trunk in the middle of the night.
Why was the elephant placed in the reporter’s lap? It was a “trunk”ated news story.
What do you call an elephant wearing a red bandana? A gangster of love.
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
Where do elephants keep their clothes? In a trunk.
Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to his favorite peanut dispensary.
How do you stop an elephant from charging? Take away its credit card.
Short Elephant Jokes
Why did the elephant bring a pencil to the party? It wanted to make “trunk” calls.
How do you catch an elephant? Hide in the grass and make a peanut noise.
What’s an elephant’s favorite instrument? The “trom-bone”.
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
Why did the elephant go to school? To raise its “elephas-tics”.
What did the elephant say to the clown? Nothing, elephants can’t talk.
How does an elephant ask for a loan? It says, “Can I have some change for the tusk-meter?”
What do you do when an elephant sneezes? Get out of the way.
Where do you find an elephant with no trunk? Exactly where you left it.
Why did the elephant bring a suitcase to the zoo? Because it wanted to pack its trunk.
What’s gray, has a trunk, and gives flowers to his pachyderm date? A “gentlefant”.
Why do elephants go to therapy? They want to work on their “ele-phant-om” issues.
What’s big, gray, and never forgets to pay its bills? An elephant with good credit.
How do you fit an elephant in a matchbox? Take out all the matches first.
What do you call an elephant that’s afraid of the dark? Chickens are afraid of the dark, not elephants.
How do you know if there’s an elephant in your fridge? Footprints in the butter.
What did the grape say to the elephant? “Nothing, grapes can’t talk.”
Why did the elephant eat the computer? It wanted a byte to eat.
What did one elephant say to the other when they saw a human? “Look, a mini version of us.”