If you love golf and you love puns, then this is the post for you. When it comes to humor, my Dad got jokes and my Mom got a sense of humor—both of which I inherited.
If you’re like me, you’ve pulled your clubs out of the closet multiple times and have tried to impress your friends with your mad golf skills. But sometimes even the best golfers in the world can get a slice from time to time, or maybe they’re hitting more than just bad shots.
Grab a cup of coffee, and take a look through this list for some laughs at the expense of one of the world’s greatest games: golf.
Golf Puns
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one.
Did you hear about the golfer who got stuck in the sand trap? He couldn’t escape because he was in denial.
What do you call a golfer who cheats on the course? A tee-rrible person.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of shoes? In case he got a hole-in-one.
Did you hear about the golfer who quit? He just couldn’t putt up with it anymore.
What do you call a golfer who wears two pairs of pants? An overachiever.
Why do golfers always carry a second pair of socks? In case they get a hole-in-one.
What do you call a golfer who likes to jog while playing? A hole-in-one-runner.
Did you hear about the golfer who retired? He finally reached his fairway to heaven.
Why did the golfer bring extra pants to the driving range? In case he got a “driving wedge.”
What do you call a golfer who plays in the snow? A flurrie duffer.
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one – they can take a mulligan.
Did you hear about the golfer who always kept playing despite the bad weather? He was a real tro-fore.
What did the golf club say after a bad shot? “Woods I hit it again!”
Why did the golfer always bring two pairs of pants? Just in case he got a “hole-in-one” by accident.
Did you hear about the golfer who had a hole-in-one? Unfortunately, it was in his pocket.
What do you call a golfer who never loses his temper? A player with incredible “disk-went.”
Why do golfers always carry two pairs of pants? In case they get a birdie and have a hole-in-one.
Did you hear about the golfer who had a hole-in-one? He immediately teed off the field.
What do you call a golfer who is also a musician? A swing-singer!
Golf Jokes
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one, he would have a spare!
What did the golfer say when he lost his ball? “Fore-get it.”
Why do golfers always carry an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole-in-one.
What do you call a golfer who gets too many penalties? A “fore-giver.”
How do golfers stay cool during a round? They stand in the shade of the “club-house.”
Why did the golfer bring an umbrella to the course? In case he got a “hole in the rain.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one, he wanted to be “twice as prepared.”
What do you call a golfer who skips the putting green? A “hole-skipper.”
How do golfers always know their score? They “par”ticipate in each hole.
Why did the golfer go to the bakery before his round of golf? He wanted to get a “slice” of inspiration.
What do you call a golfer who can never find his clubs? A “mis-place-ked” player.
Why don’t golfers ever work in the library? They don’t want to “putter” away their time.
What did the golf ball say to the golfer? “You drive me crazy.”
How do golfers send letters? They “tee” off the envelope.
Why did the golfer bring a ladder to the course? He wanted to reach new “heights” with his swing.
What do golfers say when they hit a good shot? “You’re teeing me up for success.”
Why did the golfer bring a penguin with him to the course? He heard it could really “drive” the ball.
What do you call a golfer who can never find their way around the course? A “fairway-finder.”
Why do golfers always bring an extra pair of shoes? In case they need to “putt” on a different style.
Golf Pick-Up Lines
Is your name Par? Because you make my heart score a hole in one.
Are you a sand trap? Because I’m falling for you head over heels.
Can I join you in your cart? Because I’d love to drive around with you all day.
Do you need a caddy? Because I’d go the extra mile just to be by your side.
Is your swing as smooth as your smile? Because you’ve got me hooked.
Are you an eagle? Because you’ve taken my breath away.
Can I put my ball in your hole? Because I’m aiming for a perfect match.
Is that a golf ball in your pocket? Because I’d love to tee it up with you.
Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I drive by again?
Can I be your golf partner? Because together, we would make an unbeatable team.
Are you a fairway? Because I’m ready to play the greatest game of love with you.
Did we just meet on the back nine? Because you already have a hold on my heart.
Can I be the flagstick to your green? Because I’m drawn towards you like a magnet.
Are you a pro golfer? Because you’ve got all the right moves.
Is your dad a golfer? Because you’re a hole-in-one in my eyes.
Can I be your caddy for life? Because I’ll always have your back.
Are you a golf course hole? Because I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather sink my putt with.
Did it hurt when you fell from the golfing heavens? Because you’re just too lovely to be real.
Can I borrow your putter? Because I want to tap into your heart.
Are you a tee box? Because I just know we’re about to start something incredible.
Short Golf Jokes
What do you call a snowman who can play golf? A “winter-putter.”
Why can’t a golf ball get a loan? Because it has a “tee”rrible credit.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one.
How does a golfer count to seven? Fore-sight, tee shot, fairway, green, putt, birdie, eagle.
Why was the golfer afraid of the green? Because he heard it was “rough” out there.
How does a golfer stay up-to-date with technology? They use a “chip” in their clubs.
What do you call a golfer who only listens to music on the course? A “swing-set” DJ.
Why do golfers always carry an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole-in-one.
What do you call a golfer who’s always hungry on the green? A “birdie”chewer.
Why did the golfer bring an umbrella to the course? In case he got a “hole in the rain.
What do you call a golfer who’s terrible at putting? A “wheel” hazard.
Why do golfers always say “fore” instead of “watch out”? Because it’s “driver’s ed” for everyone.
What do golfers wear when they’re cold? “Tee”rific jackets.
Why don’t golfers play in the jungle? Too many “tree hazards.
What do you call a golfer who’s always too busy? A “scrappy” duffer.
Why did the golf ball refuse to go into the hole? It was afraid of getting a “divot-ced.”
What do you call a golfer who always makes it to the driving range? A “tee”rific player.
Why did the golfer bring a ladder to the course? To reach new “heights” with their swing.
What do you call a group of golfers who travel together? “Tee”m travelers.
Why did the golfer bring a map to the course? To find the “ping” for each hole.