Ears, the remarkable sensory organs of humans and animals, play a vital role in hearing and balance. These delicate structures capture sound waves and allow us to perceive the world’s symphony.
From their unique shapes to their extraordinary functions, ears are a fascinating testament to the wonders of evolution and biology.
Get ready to have your auditory senses tickled as we present 80 side-splitting jokes all about these wondrous listening devices. From their quirks to their feats, we’ve collected the funniest anecdotes and puns that will leave you ear-resistibly entertained.
Ears Puns
Did you hear the one about the deaf comedian? Neither did he.
Sorry, I’m not listening… I just have a lot on my plate.
You say tomato, I say tom-ear-to.
If you listen closely, you can hear the absence of sound. It’s eerily quiet.
We’re all ears around here, so speak up.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros? Elephino (pronounced like “ear-if-i-know”).
I was going to make a joke about ears, but it just didn’t sound right.
Did you know that hearing loss can be a very ear-itating condition?
I can’t decide which is worse: a dead battery or a dead eardrum. Both are hard to recharge.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An inVESTigator (or in-ear-igator?)
If you’re not listening to music in your car, are you just driving for no ear-son?
Did you hear about the mathematician with a hearing aid? He had a calcu-ear.
The ears are the window to the soul, but sometimes they need curtains.
You can tell a lot about someone by how they listen. They might even be all-ear-gic to certain sounds.
What did the left ear say to the right ear? “Don’t worry, everything’s all right.”
For people with cochlear implants, hearing is a serious business. You might even say it’s coch-ear.
A hearing test isn’t complete without an ears-nose-and-throat specialist. It’s the whole package.
I plum-forgot what I was going to say about ears. Maybe I need to raisin my voice a bit.
If you listen to the wind, you can hear it whisper sweet noth-ears in your ear.
I was going to make a joke about ears, but I thought it might fall on deaf ears.
Ears Pick-Up Lines
Do you mind if I ear-resistibly whisper sweet nothings in your ear?
Are you a sound wave? Because you make my heart vibrate.
Is it just me, or do your ears look a bit chilly? Shall I lend them my warmth?
Excuse me, can I borrow your ears? I promise to fill them with compliments.
Are you an audiobook? Because I could listen to your voice all day long.
Are you a DJ? Because you’re turning up the volume in my heart.
Could I be your right ear and listen to all your secrets?
I must be a harmonica because I’d love to make sweet music with your ears.
Forget about surround sound; all I need is the sound of your laughter in my ears.
Can I be your personal acoustics engineer and fine-tune the way your voice sounds?
Is it safe to assume you have perfect pitch? Because I’m falling for every note you say.
Are you a melody? Because you’re playing all the right notes in my heart.
Do you believe in love at first sound or should I walk by again?
My friends say I have a way with words, but I’d love to have a way with your ears.
Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in the mesmerizing sound of your voice.
How about we skip the small talk and dive straight into a deep conversation… or perhaps a whisper?
Can I borrow your ears for a moment? I need to tell them how stunning you look.
If we were in a band, you’d be the melody to my rhythm and we’d make beautiful music together.
I must be an expert in sound reproduction because your voice sounds even more beautiful in my ears.
Can I treat you to a symphony? I’ll be the conductor, and your laughter will be the music.
Ear One-Liners
I applied for a job at the headphone company, but I wasn’t qualified; they said I didn’t have enough “ear” experience.
I wanted to tell you a joke about ears, but I’m afraid it sounds a bit “corny”.
I went deaf in one ear. Now I’m just “half-listening” to everything.
Why did the ear go to the party? Because it knew it would have a “sound” time.
I asked my doctor if he could recommend something for my hearing. He replied, “Just try listening.”
Can February “march” to the beat of its own ear-drum?
Why did the ear break up with the nose? It couldn’t handle its “sniffy” attitude.
I told my friend a joke about a loudspeaker, but he didn’t find it very “amplifying”.
Did you hear about the musician who performed with headphones on? It was a “sound-insulated” concert.
I tried to make a sculpture out of earwax, but it didn’t really “hear-ture” the way I wanted.
What did one ear say to the other? “I can’t hear you, I have chronic “inner-hear” blindness.”
My ears had a disagreement, now they’re giving each other the “silent treatment”.
Why do people with ear piercings never go skydiving? They’re afraid of “earplane” pressure.
I once invented an ear-shaped sandwich, but it turned out to be a “sub-ear-whelming” creation.
I have a sibling who loves listening to music, but I wish they wouldn’t always “air-drum” along.
The ear inspector is a real “sound sleuth;” they always catch any “eavesdropping” going on.
What did the ear of corn say to the skeptical shopper? “I’m all ears, ask me anything.”
Why did the sound engineer give up on their dream of becoming a rock star? They preferred the “sound” of silence.
I accidentally dropped my earring in the ocean. It swam away, so now it’s a “pearl in the “ear-sea””.
Do you know what sound an ear of corn makes when it laughs? Popcorn.
Best Ear Jokes
Why did the ear go to school? To get its “hearing-education”.
How do you organize a space party for ears? You “plan-et” in advance.
Why did the ear bring a ladder? It wanted to “ear-ise” to the occasion.
What do you call a group of musical ears? An “orch-ear-stra”.
The ear was feeling very confident, so it said, “I’m the “aural” authority around here.”
Can February “ear-itize” its own importance on the calendar?
What did the detective ear say to the suspect? “I’m all ears; spill the “sound” truth.”
Why did the ear become a chef? It loved to “flavor-listen” to all the tasty dishes.
What did the ear say to the other ear at the gym? “Let’s “earobic” exercise together.”
I used to think my ears were really shy. Turns out, they were just “ear-pressible”.
What did the pop star ear say on stage? “I can’t “ear-ase” the sound of the crowd cheering.”
How does an elephant greet an ear? With a “high-trunk” salute.
Why are ears so good at making puns? They always “hear-take” in wordplay.
I forgot my earbuds at home today. Now I’m feeling a bit “l-ear-less”.
Why did the ears go on strike? They were tired of being taken for “granted”.
What do you call it when an ear tries to tell a joke? A “puntastic” punchline.
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little “boogey” in its ear.
What do you call a talented ear who can play multiple instruments? A “multi-recip-ear”.
The ear had an amazing sense of humor. It was always “ear-resistible”.
How does an ear get a haircut? It goes to the “h-ear”-stylist.