50 Mustache Jokes

A mustache is like a tiny superhero cape for your upper lip. It transforms your face from mere mortal to dashing debonair with just a few follicles.

You know how to make a man’s eyes twinkle? Tell him a mustache joke. Nothing makes a guy smile more than his favorite facial hair. Whether the mustache is curly, handlebar or even mutton-chops; there is something about mustaches that are just funny. The best part about these cheesy jokes is that they can be told by anyone because they’re all clean.

Mustache Puns

I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.

Did you hear about the mustache convention? It was quite hairy-culiar.

My mustache is my secret superpower — it makes me look instantly sophisticated.

Why did the baker have a mustache? Because he kneaded some style in his life.

I can’t handle the pressure – mustache almost made me shave it off.

His mustache is so suave, it’s like a tiny broom sweeping my heart away.

My mustache always gets more compliments than my actual jokes – it’s a real stand-up comedian.

Did you hear about the mustache that became a detective? It solved every hairy situation it encountered.

My mustache is a true gentleman – it always knows how to put a sophisticated twist on any occasion.

I knew a mustache that was friends with a beard – they made quite the dynamic duo.

My mustache is an absolute flirt – it’s always making eyes at people.

I had to shave off my handlebar mustache – I just couldn’t hang on to it anymore.

Why do cowboys always have mustaches? Because they like to rope ’em in with style.

My mustache is like a personal flag – it waves with distinguished charm.

I asked my mustache for some advice, but it just brushed me off.

Mustache One-Liners

A mustache is like a punctuation mark for the face – it adds character.

My mustache is my souvenir from the 70s.

People say my mustache gives me an air of sophistication, but it’s really just a bunch of hair above my lip.

I attempted to grow a mustache, but it turned out to be more of a “dirtstache.”

I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.

My mustache may not be perfect, but it sure knows how to make a statement.

I have trust issues, but I always put my trust in my mustache to make me look good.

My mustache is like a separate entity – it has a personality of its own.

Mustaches are just like glasses for your upper lip.

I asked my mustache for some dating advice, but it said it couldn’t handle my razor-sharp questions.

Mustache enthusiasts don’t ‘like’ things on social media, they ‘mustache’ them.

My mustache is my secret weapon – it’s my disguise for when I want to go incognito.

They say the mustache makes the man, but in my case, the man makes the mustache…with a lot of effort.

My mustache might not be a good listener, but it sure can hold on to some interesting food crumbs.

They say a mustache can make any outfit look cool. Looks like I’m on a mission to prove that theory wrong.

Mustache Jokes

My mustache is like my shadow – always following me and occasionally getting in the way.

You know you have a good mustache when even the hipsters are impressed.

My mustache and I have a love-hate relationship – it loves being on my face, and I hate shaving it off.

They say a mustache is a man’s best friend…until you eat a messy sandwich.

My mustache makes me feel like a gentleman, even when I’m scarfing down pizza.

Short Mustache Jokes

Why did the mustache go to the party? Because it wanted to make a “hairy” entrance.

What did the mustache say to the beard? “You’re just a hairy imposter.”

How do you get a wild mustache under control? With a little “must-styling” gel.

Why did the mustache bring a ladder to the concert? Because it heard the band had “tall-hair”.

Why do bees love mustaches? Because they tickle their tiny little legs.

What did one strand of mustache hair say to the other? “I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.”

How does a mustache keep its shape? With a “curly-queue” regimen.

Why did the mustache need a vacation? Because it was feeling a little “hairy”.

What’s a mustache’s favorite tool? A “stache-tweezers”.

How does a mustache get a laugh? It tickles your funny bone.

Why did the mustache get a speeding ticket? It was going too fast on the upper lip.

What’s a mustache’s favorite type of music? Hairy styles.

How does a mustache stay in shape? It does “lip-ups” and “chin-ups”.

What did the mustache say to the nose? “I mustache you to stop smelling so much.”

Why did the mustache get a promotion? It had a “raisin’ the bar” attitude.

How does a mustache write a message? It uses a “stache-pen”.

Why did the mustache join the circus? It was tired of being a “lip-sync-er”.

What did the mustache say to the razor? “I mustache you to let me live another day.”

How do you make a mustache laugh? You wiggle it with a tickle feather.

Why did the mustache take up painting? It wanted to create some fine “stache-cos”.

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