50 Neck Jokes

In sweet words neck is the elegant bridge between our head and body. It’s like the flexible ambassador of our expressions, allowing our head to turn and nod with grace.

A slender support for our precious noggin, it cranes in curiosity, stretches in determination, and occasionally gets tired of holding up our endless conversations.

Do you love neck jokes? Well, if you do, then this is the list for you. There are lots of jokes out there about necks. Some are a little crass, some are short and sweet

Neck Puns

A chiropractor told me I had a crick in my neck. I had to reply, “Well, it’s not like I’m a little birdie.”

I met a giraffe with a sore neck and asked him what was wrong, but he just seemed a little stretched for time.

I had a sore neck after sleeping funny, but it’s okay now. I rubbed it and gave it a good neckercise.

When you get a neck cramp, don’t worry – it’ll be a back necksperience.

What do you call an owl with a sore neck? A bird of twinge.

This morning, when I tried to put on my turtleneck sweater, I slipped and got a neckache. I guess you could say it was quite the sweater neckslide.

Why do people say they “gotta neck of the woods”? I never knew a neck was a unit of measurement.

I was going to make a necklace out of old watch parts, but then I realized it would be too time-navbarassing.

I tried to tell a neck joke to my friend, but she said it didn’t quite collar to her sense of humor.

What’s the difference between a neck and a bridge? One goes over the water, the other goes over the windpipe.

A man walked into a doctor’s office with a pretzel stick up his nose and a band-aid on his neck. The doctor said, “Well, it looks like you’re a little twisted.

I went to the beach over the weekend with my family, but didn’t wear sunscreen. My neck was lobster than the sun!

Did you hear about the football player who hurt his neck? He was sidelined for neck’s season.

I can’t wear scarves cause they really choke me up.

what is a neck’s favorite game? A head count.

My friend told me I have a long neck. I said, “That’s just me sticking my neck out for fashion.

If necks could talk, I bet they would have a lot on their shoulders.

I always wear a scarf around my neck, just to make a fashion statement and keep my neck warm.

I used to have a fear of neckties, but then I decided to tie up loose ends.

They say I have a knack for cracking my neck. I call it my neck-crobat move.

You can say I’m neck-lectic when it comes to choosing the perfect necklace.

The giraffe is nature’s way of saying, “Hey, look at this neck-tacular creature.”

I once told a neck joke, but it went over everyone’s heads.

When I have a stiff neck, I like to stretch it out by looking up at the stars.

I asked my friend how she managed to have such a graceful posture. She simply replied, “It’s all about keeping my neck-moving.”

Neck One-Liners

Neck stretching exercises? I’ve got ’em down to a fine art. It’s how I express my neck-thusiasm.

When it comes to playing the guitar, some people fret about their fingers. Me? I focus on neck-ting the right notes.

Getting a good night’s sleep requires the perfect pillow-to-neck ratio.

I’ve always wondered why chickens don’t complain about having necks as flexible as rubber bands.

Is a double chin just a neck’s way of saying, “I’m feeling rather cheeky today?

Best Neck Jokes

What do you call a man with a neck brace? Anything you like, he can’t turn his head to hear you.

Why did the giraffe break up with his girlfriend? She thought he was a bit of a neck-sessity.

Why don’t turkey’s forget anything? Because every time they turn their heads, they get a good reminder from their necks.

Did you hear about the man who stole a giraffe’s neck? He got a long sentence.

Why do giraffes only get married in the neck of the woods? It’s the only place they feel tall enough to tie the knot.

A friend once complimented me on my elegant posture, so I had to tell him it’s all about taking neck-steps in the right direction.

Why did the turtle cross the road? Because he wanted to stretch his neck a little.

What did the scarf say when it got too hot? “I can’t take this – I think my neck-flammation is acting up.”

What did one vertebrae say to the other when they discovered they were related? “Hey, it’s all in the neck of the family.”

Why do elephants rarely have neck pain? Because they have trunks instead.

Why do hunters always aim for the goose’s neck? Because it’s right on the neck-sessary.

I can never get used to wearing neckties – I always feel like I’m being strangled by small designer nooses.

What do you call a snake with a stiff neck? A stiff necked-serpent.

What do you call a person who is always nosy? A neck-twit.

Why couldn’t the football player with a sore neck play in the big game? He felt like he was behind neck and neck with his injury.

What do you do when you break your neck? Call an ambulance and hope they’re very spine-heyed.

Why did the computer break up with the printer? It was tired of looking over its neck to get the job done.

What does a neck have in common with a bicycle wheel? They both revolve around the axle.

Why do giraffes have such long necks? So they can see what’s coming down the road before anyone else.

My doctor told me to keep a stiff upper lip, so I told him to keep a stiff neck instead.

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