Optometrists are visionaries who bring clarity to our world, one prescription at a time. They’re the superheroes of eye health, armed with their trusty retinoscopes and snazzy frames
Optometrist jokes (or Eye Doctor jokes) are a great way to tease your optician / optometrist friends, colleagues or any peer.
Here are 60 funny eye doctor jokes to help you with your next visit.
Optometrist Puns
I went to the optometrist for an eye exam, but it turned out to be a sight for sore eyes.
The optometrist always has a visionary approach to solving eye problems.
My optometrist has a great sense of humor. He’s always making eye-ronic jokes.
The optometrist may seem serious, but deep down, they have a cornea of gold.
The optometrist’s favorite social media platform is Insta-gram because it’s all about the retina-worthy pictures.
When the optometrist started telling jokes, everyone iris to the occasion.
I tried to impress the optometrist with some eye-related puns, but they said they’ve iris-sist heard them all.
The optometrist is a genius. They can always focus on finding the root cause of any eye problem.
The optometrist’s office is always pupil-ating with patients seeking clearer vision.
When the optometrist told me to read the letters on the eye chart, I replied, “I can’t, I’ve got corneaopia.”
The optometrist’s favorite type of music is Opto-pop. It really helps patients relax during exams.
I asked the optometrist for an eye test, but they said it’s not a sight they can schedule instantly.
My optometrist loved telling me jokes about glasses. He said they always frame the conversation nicely.
The optometrist’s office is a pupillary place, full of lenses and frames.
I told the optometrist my eyes hurt, and they replied, “Don’t worry, it’s just a case of optical punitis.”
Optometrist Pick-Up Lines
Is your name Vision? Because you’ve caught my eye and I can’t see myself without you.
Excuse me, but I think you dropped something: my jaw, when I saw your stunning eyes.
Are you an optometrist? Because you just dilated my pupils with your beauty.
If I were an optometrist, I’d give you a lifetime prescription for love.
Is your father an optician? Because you sure are the apple of my eye.
Can I take you out for dinner? I know a great place with dim lighting, so we can both see things clearly.
Are you a contact lens? Because whenever I look into your eyes, everything else just becomes a blur.
Excuse me, but could you lend me a moment? I need to adjust my vision, because you are simply the most stunning person in the room.
Can I borrow your glasses? I seem to have lost my sense of direction since I laid eyes on you.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I look into your beautiful eyes a little longer?
You must be an optometrist, because you have a way of seeing right through me.
Is your name Optica? Because you’re the perfect match for my spectacle heart.
Can I consult with you for a moment? I’m experiencing a rapid heartbeat every time I’m near you.
I think you’re a perfect 20/20, because you’ve definitely caught my attention.
Excuse me, but I think you dropped something: my jaw, when I saw how your eyes sparkle like two bright stars.
Optometrist One-Liners
Why do glasses make such great detectives? Because they always bring things into focus.
Who is the most popular optometrist in town? The one who really knows how to frame the situation.
People say I’m too critical of my vision. But I like to call it optical analysis.
If your vision gets blurry, just remember: optometrists have a clear view of the situation.
Why did the optometrist go on a date with their patient? They had a spark between them.
The optometrist always had a sharp eye and a lens for detail.
Some people might see glasses as a handicap, but I prefer to look at them as a spectacle of style.
Optometrists are the best at seeing things from a different angle.
I tried to get the optometrist to be my wingman, but they said they already had a contact.
I was going to make a joke about glaucoma, but it’s a serious condition.
What do you call a dinosaur with perfect vision? A doyouthinkhesaurus.
I told the optometrist I was seeing spots, and they said I should probably lay off the caffeine.
Yesterday, I went to the eye doctor to have an eye exam, but he told me it was a sight for sore eyes.
Why did the optometrist become an artist? They saw the beauty in every little thing.
I wish I could see the world through rose-colored glasses, but all I have are these prescription specs.
Best Optometrist Jokes
Why did the optometrist refuse to fix the broken glasses? He didn’t want to make a spectacle of himself.
I told my optometrist that I don’t see eye to eye with my boss. He said to take off my glasses, and that solved the problem.
Why did the optometrist go on a diet? He wanted to lose some pupil-d.
Why did the optometrist wear a helmet? For maximum eye protection.
What do you call the optometrist who’s always trying to sell you new glasses? A spectacle salesman.
Why did the optometrist avoid the science museum? He knew he’d have a hard time avoiding the eye-exhibits.
Why did the optometrist get a divorce? He and his wife just couldn’t see eye to eye anymore.
What do optometrists use to keep track of their appointments? Their eye-calendars!
Why did the optometrist move to Florida? He heard all the residents had 20/20 vision.
Why did the optometrist open a restaurant? He wanted to serve eye-talian food.
What do you call a group of optometrists? An eye-magination.
Why did the optometrist become a comedian? He knew how to get people seeing things his way.
Why did the optometrist decide to become a farmer? He knew how to handle all kinds of corn-ias.
Why did the optometrist refuse to see any more patients? He was feeling a little eyeballed.
Why did the optometrist start playing basketball? He liked the idea of having the best shots.