Penguins are the fancy tuxedo-wearing comedians of the animal kingdom. With their waddling walk and adorable flippers, they’re like the Charlie Chaplins of the ice.
And when it comes to swimming, they’re the synchronized swimmers you never knew you needed. Don’t be fooled by their formal attire; these flightless birds know how to slide into laughter.
Here is a list of one hundred penguin jokes to keep you laughing for hours!.
Penguin Puns
Did you hear about the penguin that went to the fancy restaurant? He ordered the “ice-cold” soup.
What’s a penguin’s favorite dessert? Chilly” chocolate mousse.
Why was the penguin such a good singer? He had “fin”-credible vocal cords.
When the penguin comedian told a joke, everyone in the audience shouted, “You’re “ice“-larious.
What do you call a group of musical penguins? An “orchestra-tion” of penguins.
How do penguins celebrate success? They do a “flipper dance.”
I asked a penguin if he could fly, and he replied, “No, but I can ‘waddle’ really fast.”
What did one penguin say to the other at the party? “You’re looking sharp in that tux-waddle.”
How do penguins make decisions? They flip a “coin.”
Did you hear about the penguin who joined a biker gang? He became the “Hellsquawkers” president.
Why don’t penguins like talking on the phone? They prefer “ice” messaging.
What’s a penguin’s favorite winter sport? “Ice”-hockey.
Why did the penguin always carry a map? In case he got “disoriented.”
When the penguin chef served his famous dish, everyone exclaimed, “It’s absolutely “egg”-cellent.
What do you call a penguin with a sun hat? “Shady” chick.
How do penguins keep their money safe? In the “cold”-y Bank.
Why did the penguin always bring a towel to the beach? To “waddle” away the sand.
Why did the penguin bring a ladder to the party? To “slide” into the fun.
What did the penguin say when he proposed to his partner? “You’re the “cool”-est bird I know and I want to spend my life with you.”
Why did the penguin always carry a camera? To capture all the “ice”-citing moments.
How do you throw a party for penguins? You break the “ice” and waddle on the fun.
What do you call a penguin that’s a great dancer? A “happy feet“-ionado.
Did you hear about the penguin who won a lifetime supply of fish? She was truly “swimming” in success.
What do you call a penguin with no manners? “Impolite”-in.
How do penguins join conversations? They “slide” into the discussion.
Why did the penguin bring a car to the South Pole? To “slide” into the winter wonderland.
Did you hear about the penguin who opened a bakery? He makes “flaky” pastries.
What’s a penguin’s favorite type of movie? “Chill”-ers.
How do penguins stay warm in the cold? They “huddle” together for “warmth.”
What do penguins say to each other when they meet? “Ice” to meet you.
Best Penguin Jokes
Why did the penguin bring a ladder to the party? Because he wanted to climb the “cool” charts.
Where do penguins keep their money? In snow banks.
What’s a penguin’s favorite kind of fish? A “fin”-tastic one.
What did the penguin say to the annoying seagull? “You’re really “flapping” my feathers.”
Why don’t you ever borrow money from a penguin? They always “flip” out when it comes to lending.
What’s a penguin’s favorite TV show? “Waddle-erama.”
How do penguins navigate the internet? They use “webbed” browse.
What’s a penguin’s favorite holiday? “Fish”-mas.
How do you tell if a penguin likes you? They give you “flipper” kisses.
What do you call a penguin with a large vocabulary? “Arti-snow-culate.”
Why don’t penguins like talking on the phone? They prefer “webbed” messaging.
How do penguins travel long distances? By “flipper”-planes.
What’s a penguin’s favorite school subject? “Ice”-tory.
Why don’t penguins like talking about their problems? They believe in dealing with them “ice”-olation.
What do you call a penguin that loves to rock out? A “beak”-on enthusiast.
What’s a penguin’s favorite type of music? “Cool”-assical.
How do penguins tell time? With their “flipper” watches.
What’s a penguin’s favorite game on a hot summer day? “Polar”-nament.
How do penguins organize their parties? They “waddle” up the fun.
What’s a penguin’s favorite breakfast food? “Eggs”-citing pancakes.
Why did the penguin join a band? Because he had great “instru-mentals.”
What do you get when you cross a penguin and a kangaroo? A “jump“-ing cold-ster.
How does a penguin make friends? By “breaking the ice” with a smile.
What do you get if you cross a penguin and an alligator? I don’t know, but it’ll be really good at “slide”-en.
What’s a penguin’s favorite exercise? “Flipper”-cise.
Why did the penguin go to art school? He wanted to become a “picassnow.”
What do you call a penguin that knows martial arts? A “flipsy” daisy.
How do penguins keep their houses warm? They use “heating” pads.
What’s a penguin’s favorite snack? “Ice”-cream sandwiches.
How do penguins communicate underwater? By using “bubble” letters.
Penguin Pick-Up Lines
Your beak is the perfect shape for mine.
You must be a penguin, because I can’t take my eyes off you.
If you were a penguin, you’d be a “fin”-eapple.
I may be a bird brain, but I know you’re really “flipper” cool.
Are you a penguin? Because your wings are just “tux”-tacular.
Can I waddle with you through life’s adventures?
Excuse me, would you like to go on a date? I promise to be “egg”-ceptional.
You’re so “cool”, you must have a high tolerance for cold weather.
Can I buy you a fish dinner? Or would you prefer to catch your own?
You must be from Antarctica, because nothing compares to you.
Do you have a GPS? Because you’re my perfect match for the rest of my “ice-tinerary”.
If you were a bird in a flock, I’d choose you every time.
Are you a penguin? Because you have the key to my lonely heart.
If I had a heart of stone, it would melt when I look at you.
Do you want to be my mate for life? It’s a penguin thing.
Your black and white feathers are as beautiful as the sky on a clear night.
You make my heart skip a “waddle”.
I feel that you and I have a lot in “common-dove”.
Can I buy you a drink or should we just skip to swimming in the ocean together?
Can I “slide” into your dm’s?
Penguin One-Liners
Penguins are the ultimate “cool” birds.
I tried to teach my penguin to fly but he just gave me the cold shoulder.
What do you get when you cross a penguin and a snowman? Frost bites.
I asked a penguin if it had any spectacular talents, and it said, “I’m quite the “slide” guitarist.”
Penguins always know how to break the ice at parties.
Why don’t penguins like talking on the phone? They prefer “wing”-ing it in person.
A penguin walked into a bar and said, “I’ll have a cold one, please.”
I told the penguin that it should join a comedy club, since it’s such a “slide”-splitter.
Penguins drive so well on ice because they have good “treads” on their feet.
People often underestimate penguins, but they’re always “flipping” impressive.
Why did the penguin go to the library? It was looking for some “snow“-ledge.
When it’s cold outside, penguins just “brrrr-eak” out their warmest jackets.
A penguin walks up to another penguin and says, “You’re so “flip”-ping awesome.”
What’s a penguin’s favorite type of movie? A “chill”-er thriller.
Did you hear about the penguin who became a chef? He’s a master of fish-tastic dishes.
I asked a penguin how it stays in shape and it said, “I always make time for my “flippersize” routine.”
Penguins are great at multitasking; they can swim, slide, and look adorable all at once.
If a penguin tells you a secret, you better keep it because they have excellent “hush”-waddle skills.
Why don’t penguins like to text? They prefer “flap”-chatting in person.
Penguins always have a “fin”-tastic time at dance parties because they know all the coolest moves.