Pilot jokes – those are a rare and unique commodity. I hear them from all different sources, but more importantly, I’ve got over 70 of my own to share with you. Below, you’ll find a collection of great pilot jokes. I hope you like them
Best Pilot Jokes
Did you hear about the pilot who went on a diet? He really trimmed the flaps.
Why did the pilot bring a ladder to the airplane? To reach new heights.
How do pilots greet each other? They wing it.
Why don’t pilots ever give up? Because they always stay on course.
What’s a pilot’s favorite type of sandwich? A “plane” old PB&J.
Why do pilots make great comedians? They always deliver “plane” jokes.
How does a pilot ask someone out on a date? Can I take you for a flight on cloud 9?
What do you call a pilot who doesn’t like turbulence? Grounded in their ways.
What’s a pilot’s favorite movie? “Airplane Mode”.
Why did the pilot bring a map to bed? They wanted to dream of new destinations.
How do pilots stay cool during stressful situations? They keep a steady “altitude”.
What do you call a pilot who loves gardening? A “fly-by-the-seed-of-the-pants” pilot.
Why did the pilot always carry a pen and paper? They were always jotting down “flight” notes.
How did the pilot propose? They said, “Let’s take our relationship to new heights.”
Why did the pilot refuse to break up with their partner? They believed in maintaining a “stable” relationship.
What’s a pilot’s favorite bedtime story? “Peter Pan”.
Why do pilots never get lost? Because they always know the way “home” – it’s the airport.
How do pilots stay in touch with their friends? They “plane”-y call or text.
Why did the pilot watch a romantic movie during their flight? They wanted to experience “love” turbulence.
How do pilots handle failure? They “land” on their feet and try again.
Pilot Pick-Up Lines
Are you a runway? Because I’m prepared to land on you any day.
Do you have a map? Because I’m lost in your eyes.
Are you a cockpit? Because I want to be the co-pilot to your captain.
Are you turbulence? Because you just made my heart skip a beat.
Can’t you feel it too? The chemistry between us is about to reach new heights.
Are you an airplane? Because I’ll take you as high as you want to go.
Want to share my tray table? It’s the perfect size for two drinks and conversation.
Are you air traffic control? Because you have my heart flying in circles.
Do you have clearance to land? Because I want to make sure I’m on your schedule.
Is it hot in here or is it just the altitude of our chemistry?
Want to come back to my cockpit and see my joystick?
You must be a flight attendant because you just took my breath away.
Are you a runway hold short line? Because I want to stop and wait for you to catch up.
Do you have a passport? Because I want to fly away with you.
Can I take a picture with you? I want to show Santa what I want for Christmas.
Pilot One-Liners
I’m a pilot, I’ll never run out of air miles.
I told the flight attendant I wanted to fly solo, so they booked me a one-way ticket.
Flying a plane is like riding a bike, except the bike is on fire, you’re 30,000 feet in the air, and you can’t stop.
I asked my co-pilot if he wanted to hear a joke. He said, “Sure, altitude is everything.”
My favorite exercise? Running late to catch a connecting flight.
The best view in the world is from the cockpit. It’s a real high-point in my career.
Flying a plane is all about staying grounded… or, well, not so much.
As a pilot, I have a soaring sense of humor. It really takes off.
The art of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
I once flew with turbulence, but we didn’t hit it off.
Flying is the second-best thrill I know. Landing is the first.
People always ask me if I have any airline food jokes. But they just don’t “take off.”
I asked a cloud if it wanted to come to my party. It said, “Sorry, I’m already booked.”
The secret to landing a plane is: ‘Aviate, navigate, communicate, and caffeinate.’
I love being a pilot because I get paid to chase the sunset.
Short Pilot Jokes
Why did the pilot bring a ladder to the airport? Because they heard the drinks were on the house.
Why did the pilot start a gardening business? They wanted to have a thriving “air”-bush.
What do you call a pilot who can’t find their plane? A “missing link”.
What do pilots use to browse the internet? Sky-fi.
How do pilots communicate with each other? They “plane”-ly talk on the airwaves.
Why did the pilot get into the baking business? They wanted to make “flying saucers”.
What’s a pilot’s favorite dance move? The “wing”-man shuffle.
How do pilots like their coffee? “Decaf-flying”.
What makes a pilot’s day take off? A “runway” success.
What do you call it when a pilot’s glasses break? A “crash of spectacle”.
Why do pilots make great musicians? They’re experts at creating “air-mony”.
What’s a pilot’s favorite jewelry? “Fly”-monds.
How did the pilot pass their math test? With flying “colors”.
Why did the scarecrow want to become a pilot? It needed a “change of heights”.
What’s a pilot’s favorite vegetable? “Air”-tichokes.
How did the pilot improve their memory? They started using “flight”-ens.
Why did the pilot become a chef? They wanted to experiment with “high-flying” recipes.
What did the pilot say to their co-pilot after a successful landing? “Nailed it, wingman.”
How do pilots stay in shape? They “plane”-ly work out in the aerobics class.
Why was the pilot always cold? Because they always had the “air-con” on in the cockpit.