I’m not the biggest climber in the world, in fact I’m pretty small. But one thing I know is that nothing is better than a good joke and some laughs with your climbing buddies. A lot of jokes revolve around two topics: belaying and falling.
These are by far my favorite types of jokes to tell at the crag. Here are my top 70 belay jokes for you to share with your own climbing friends
Rock Climbing Puns
Why did the rock climber carry a rope in his lunch box? He needed a sandwich line.
Did you hear about the rock climber who opened a bakery? She specializes in boulder cakes.
How does a rock climber like his eggs? Over easy climbs.
Why do rock climbers make bad comedians? They always get stoned when they tell their jokes.
What’s a rock climber’s favorite kind of soup? Boulder-dash.
Why did the rock climber bring a dachshund on the climb? To help with the paw-sitions.
How does a rock climber serve their coffee? With a side of boulder, of course.
What’s a rock climber’s favorite fruit? A mango (man-go climb that mountain).
Why did the rock climber refuse to go on a date? He already found his perfect belay.
How did the rock climber know the mountain was cold? It was covered in boulder-eos!
What’s a rock climber’s favorite song? “I Will Rock You” by Queen.
Why did the rock climber go to the orthodontist? To get some boulder teeth.
How does a rock climber store their food? They always pack it in a crag sack.
What did the rock climber say when he found his favorite holds were occupied? “Ain’t that a crimp in my style!”
What do you call a rock climber who makes it to the top without falling? A sendsetter.
Rock Climbing Jokes
Why did the rock climber start a band? He was tired of solo routes.
What did the rock climber say to the mountain? “I’ve got my sights set high.”
How does a rock climber make tea? Boulder water, rock it, and let it steep.
Why was the rock climber afraid of heights? Because he peaked too soon.
How does a rock climber get rid of earwax? By using a belay-Q-tip.
What do you call a group of rock climbers who play music together? A band of craggy musicians.
Why do rock climbers make excellent florists? They know how to get a grip on stems.
What do you call a clumsy rock climber? A falling block.
How does a rock climber plan a picnic? They make sure there are plenty of rock-y outcroppings to sit on.
What do you call a rock climber who only climbs mountains in the rain? A damp rock star.
Why was the rock climber caught with a bag of chalk in his hands? Because he was busted for scaling white cliffs.
What do you call a rock climber who breaks their leg? A craggy casualty.
How does a rock climber get a date? They just keep climbing until they meet someone at their level.
Why do rock climbers never give up? They have a wall-to-wall determination.
What do rock climbers listen to on the radio? Classic rock tunes, of course.
Rock Climbing Pick-Up Lines
Are you a top rope? Because I’ve fallen for you and I can’t climb back up without your support.
Are you a boulder problem? Because you’ve got me trying my hardest to solve you.
If we were climbing together, I wouldn’t need any gear because you’d be my perfect anchor.
Are you a carabiner? Because I want to clip into your life and never let go.
You must be a belay device, because you make my heart race and keep me safe at the same time.
Can I be the chalk to your hands, so I can give you the perfect grip on our future?
Are you a climbing route? Because I can’t help but be drawn to your lines and curves.
Do you believe in love at first climb? Because I’m falling for you faster than I can rappel.
Are you a crimp hold? Because you’ve got me hooked and I can’t let go.
Can I be your spotter? Because I’ll always have your back and make sure you land safely in my arms.
Are you a chalk bag? Because you make everything feel so much smoother and easier.
Do you have a map? Because I’m getting lost in your eyes like I’m lost on a multipitch climb.
Can I be the carabiner to your quickdraw? Because I want to connect our lives and keep us together.
Are you a dyno move? Because you make my heart jump with excitement.
Can I be your lead climber? Because I want to be the one to guide you to new heights of happiness.
Short Rock Climbing Puns
“Climbing rocks is just my uphill battle.”
“I started rock climbing for the sheer cliff-hanger.”
“Rock climbing is always better when you summit special.”
“I can’t say no to a good climb. It’s in my nature.”
“Rock climbing is my way of reaching the pinnacle of success.”
“I shun the easy routes. I like to take the high road.”
“Life can be a climb, so I’ve got to be prepared to reach the top.”
“Rock climbing – it’s about more than just getting high.”
“I have an affinity for heights. Rock climbing keeps me grounded.”
“You don’t climb mountains without a team, you don’t climb mountains without being fit, you don’t climb mountains without being prepared and you don’t climb mountains without balancing the risks and rewards.” – Mark Udall
“Climbing is as close as we can come to flying.” – Margaret Young
“The best climber in the world is the one who’s having the most fun.” – Alex Lowe
“Bravery is not the absence of fear. Bravery is being scared to death and climbing anyway.” – Anonymous
“I like to think that rock climbing is somewhat like life: if it’s worth doing, it’s not easy.” – Anonymous
“The best views come after the hardest climb.” – Anonymous
Rock Climbing One-Liners
“I’m in peak condition for rock climbing – always on the rocks.”
“Climbing rocks? It’s my favorite form of rock and roll.”
Why did the rock climber bring a ladder? They wanted a higher level of difficulty.”
I wanted to start a rock climbing gym, but I couldn’t find any high-stakes investors.
“When it comes to rock climbing, I’m always ‘hanging’ in there.”
“Rock climbing is like a puzzle, but instead of pieces, it’s cliffs and cracks.”
“Did you hear about the rock climber who opened a bakery? They naturally excelled at ‘boulder’ making.”
“I named my pet rock ‘Climby’ because it’s always looking for the next ascent.”
“Rock climbing is the art of gracefully defying gravity, one hold at a time.”
“Why do rock climbers make good comedians? They have great ‘puns’ of humor!”