A sailor is a salty sea explorer, battling the whims of the ocean with a crew of misfit pirates. They navigate the waves, chasing mermaids and searching for buried treasure, all while trying to avoid getting seasick in their own ship.
You might not go to sea for months, but that doesn’t mean you can’t tell some sea-worthy jokes or appreciate a good one. If you’re looking for some humor in your life, look no further. Here is a list of some of the funniest sailor jokes around.
Best Sailor Jokes
What did the sailor say when he found a great deal on a boat? Ahoy there! That’s a shipshape discount.
Why did the sailor bring a ladder to the sea? Because he wanted to climb aboard the waves.
What’s a sailor’s favorite type of math? Anchor-bra.
How do you know a sailor is good at poker? They always hold all the sevens.
Why was the sailor a terrible chef? Because they couldn’t stop making seafud.
What is a sailor’s favorite board game? Battleship, of course! It’s their kind of shore thing.
Why did the sailor go to art school? Because they wanted to master the art of knot-tying.
What did the sailor say when they couldn’t find their hat? “I’m cap-sized!”
How do sailors communicate in secret? They use ship-to-ship encryption.
Why did the sailor take up gardening? Because they wanted to sea-kale the seven seas.
What’s a sailor’s favorite type of music? Seasick tunes.
Why did the sailor bring a carrot to the beach? In case they wanted to plunge into carrot 7(c)!
Which hairstyle do sailors prefer? Mermaidens.
What do sailors wear to bed? PJs – that’s nautical slang for “Pirate Jammies.”
Why do sailors make great detectives? They’re always on the lookout for clues on the high seas.
Sailor Pick-Up Lines
Excuse me, are you a sailor? Because you just rocked my boat.
Baby, are you a mermaid? when I look in your eyes, I’m lost at sea.
Can I borrow a compass? I keep getting lost in your beautiful blue eyes.
Are you a pirate? Because I’m pretty sure you just stole my heart.
I must be the ocean, I can’t stop waving at you.
Hey girl, are you a siren? Because your voice is music to my ears.
Do you want to go below deck and hoist some sails with me?
Sweetheart, can I be your anchor? I want to keep you safe and stay by your side.
Is it just me or do I feel a connection between us that’s stronger than the tide?
Excuse me, do you work for the coastguard? Because you’re a real heart saver.
Are you a sailor as well? I feel like we were destined to tug at each other’s heartstrings.
I wish I could be marooned on a deserted island with you.
Can I have your number, sweetheart? I need something to keep my coordinates straight, and your digits seem perfect.
Will you be my first mate? I have a feeling that together, we can conquer the world.
Hey beautiful, if we were in the Navy, I’d make sure you were the captain of my heart.
Sailor One-Liners
Sailors never get cold, they just rock the boat.
Why did the sailor bring a ladder to the bar? He wanted to make a splash.
Sailors are good at finding their way because they always know which way the wind blows.
The sea might be salty, but the sailors are always full of adventure.
Sailors have the best stories because they’re always making waves.
A sailor’s favorite cocktail? A high-tide margarita!
Sailors know how to navigate rough waters and smooth sailing when it comes to relationships.
Sailors believe in the power of the sea because it always keeps them afloat.
A sailor’s motto: “Anchor yourself to what you love and set sail in pursuit of your dreams!”
Why did the sailor bring a broom to the beach? To sweep someone off their feet.
Sailors never worry about getting lost at sea – they know how to ride the waves of uncertainty.
What do you call a sailor who likes to sing? A sea shanty crooner.
Sailors have a knack for finding secret treasures both on land and in their hearts.
Why did the sailor become a musician? Because they wanted to make some marine melodies.
Sailors have a natural affinity for mermaids – they both appreciate the beauty and mystery of the sea.
Navy Jokes
Why did the sailor go to art school? Because they wanted to master the art of drawing seamen.
How do sailors communicate in secret? They use semaphore4em.
What’s a sailor’s favorite type of seafood? Buoysters.
Why did the navy chef get a promotion? They knew how to bring the salt and pepper to full seasoning.
What do you call a sailor with no hands? Undeckless.
Why do navy submarines never invite fish to their parties? Because they’re afraid they’ll drink all the torpedo-comb.
What’s a sailor’s favorite exercise? Anchoryoga.
Why did the navy officer bring a ladder to the beach? They wanted to make some high-seas sandcastles.
How do navy sailors stay in shape? They do a lot of naval gazing and saluting.
What do you call a battle between two navy ships? A rowboat-rumble.
Why did the Navy pilot switch to saltwater fishing? They always wanted to rule the skies and the seas.
What do navy sailors eat for dessert? Admiral cream pie.
Why did the Navy ship enroll in therapy? It had a lot of hull issues to work through.
How do you make a navy sailor stop biting their nails? Make them wear water wings.
Why do navy sailors make great detectives? They always nail it when it comes to finding the missing anchors.