70 Scientist Jokes

There are a lot of jokes and memes out there making fun of scientists. And not to go all angry-scientist on you, but those are really unfair.

The truth is that many of the world’s greatest discoveries came about because of scientists experimenting with hypotheses, performing research, testing theories, and coming up with new discoveries.

Science can be fun (now you’re just trying to get a reaction…). If you are working in a lab or doing any research, you’ll probably end up using these scientist jokes too.

Are you a scientist, teacher, student, science major or do you simply like science? Then you will love this collection of funny jokes.

Best Scientist Jokes

Why did the scarecrow become a scientist? Because he was outstanding in his field.

What do scientists use to freshen their breath? Element-mints.

Did you hear about the chemist who lost an electron? He’s positive he’ll find it.

How do you organize a space party? You planet.

Why do biologists always carry a map? In case they get lost in their cells.

What’s the fastest way to send a message to a chemist? Use periodic mail.

How do you know when a science joke is funny? It’s all about the reaction.

Did you hear about the physicist who discovered a new type of light? It’s called “bright-anium”.

What did the biologist say when he found a fossil? “That’s a-living proof.”

Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They’re cheaper than day rates.

What did the scientist say to the lab technician? “Beaker-hold, I’m about to perform an experiment.”

How do you make a science joke more complex? Add imaginary numbers and stir.

Why was the math book sad when it finished school? It had too many problems.

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? It could feel it in its bones.

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

How do you organize a space-themed party? You planet and everyone’s invited.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

Why did the bacteria take the bus to work? It didn’t have enough culture to drive.

What do you call a dinosaur that knows a lot of science? A “dino-scientist”.

Scientist Pick-Up Lines

Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te.

Are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you and study your atomic structure.

My love for you is like pi, it’s never-ending.

If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple.

Are you made of uranium? Because you’re radiating beauty.

Are you a fossil? Because I want to date the layers of your life.

Are you a beaker? Because I feel an experiment brewing between us.

If I were an enzyme, I’d be helicase, so I could unzip your genes.

You must be an electron, because you complete me.

Are you a star? Because you light up my universe.

Are you a Geiger counter? Because being near you gives me measurable levels of attraction.

If you were a compound, you’d be H2O—because you’re essential for my survival.

Can I be the nucleus of your life, so we can bond forever?

Are you a sample of DNA? Because I want to unzip you and study your genes.

Are you a Bunsen burner? Because you heat up the chemistry between us.

If you were a math problem, you’d be the perfect equation for my heart.

Can I be your lab partner? Together, we can create some explosive chemistry.

Are you a telescope? Because I can’t resist staring into your eyes.

You must be a magnetic field, because you’re attracting my heart.

If I were a neurotransmitter, I’d be dopamine, so I could bring a smile to your face.

Scientist One-Liners

Scientist One-Liners

I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.

Why do scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.

How many theoretical physicists does it take to change a light bulb? None, they leave it to the experimentalists.

Why did the physicist break up with the biologist? There was no “chemistry” between them.

The universe is constantly expanding, just like my to-do list.

I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium? It went OK2.

If at first, you don’t succeed, redefine success.

Never trust an atom, they make up everything and anything.

The first rule of tautology club is the first rule of tautology club.

The world’s greatest chemists can turn caffeine into research articles.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

I wanted to learn how to make ice cream. Eventually, I realized it was just a phase.

Why did the biology teacher refuse to teach about fungi? There was mold in the classroom.

How did the geometrist propose to his girlfriend? With a rhombus.

My girlfriend and I broke up because I’m too literal. I just couldn’t deal with her being a biological clock.

Why did the physicist cross the road? To get to the other side of the equation.

I’m no mathematician, but I’m pretty good at counting my blessings.

Don’t trust people who do acrobatics. They’re always up to something.

Short Scientist Jokes

Why did the scientist take a vacation? He needed time to recharge his brain cells.

Did you hear about the scientist who tried to clone a cow? He ended up with a bunch of bull.

What’s a scientist’s favorite type of clothing? Lab coats – they’re always in style.

Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

What’s a physicist’s favorite food? Fission chips.

How does a scientist freshen their breath? With experi-mints.

What did the biologist say when they found a new species? “I can’t contain my eukaryotes.”

Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.

How do you organize a space party? You planet.

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