80 Jokes about Cars

Vroom vroom, fellow joke enthusiasts. Buckle up and get ready for a wild ride filled with laughter and automotive antics. We’re hitting the road in style as we bring you an uproarious collection of 80 car jokes that’ll have you in stitches.

Put on your comedy helmet, grip the imaginary steering wheel, and get ready to cruise through a highway of hilarity.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re a seasoned driver who’s conquered endless road trips or a fresh-faced enthusiast itching to hit the accelerator, these jokes will resonate with your love for all things automotive.

Car Puns

When the car celebrated its birthday, it received a “tire”-endous gift.

Did you hear about the car that became an author? It wrote an autobiography called “Motor Mouth: My Life on Wheels.

The car was feeling down, but its friend cheered it up by saying, “Don’t worry, things will “shift” into gear soon.”

I tried to convince my car to go on a diet, but it said it was “fuel”-filled and wouldn’t budge.

What do you call a car that cannot stop talking? An “exhaust”ing conversationalist.

The car made a great DJ because it knew how to “cruise” through all the hits.

I asked my car to model for a photoshoot, but it refused. It said it didn’t want to be in the “spotlight”.

When the car was asked to describe itself in three words, it said, “Fast, reliable, and wheel-y awesome.”

Why did the car bring a blanket to the party? Because it wanted to “car-pet” the dance floor.

The car was always singing in a high-pitched voice. It said it had a “car-aoke” machine installed.

The car felt proud when it won the racing competition. It was really driven to succeed.

My car and I always have the best conversations. We just “auto”-matically understand each other.

What did the car say to its driver in the mornings? “Good morning, let’s “drive” straight into a great day.”

The car salesman opened a bakery as a side business. His specialty was selling “carb”uretors.

The car became a detective because it had a knack for “tire”-less investigation.

Why did the car refuse a promotion? It didn’t want to be stuck in the “exe-cruise-tive” position.

My car has a great sense of direction. It’s never “steered” me wrong.

What do you call a car that tells jokes? A “punchline-er”.

I told my car to stop being so noisy, but it just couldn’t “brake” the habit.

The car wanted to take a day off, so it said, “I need to “park-ticipate” in some relaxation.”

Car One-Liners

My car was making a strange noise, but I just put the volume up and enjoyed the music.

I bought a car with no doors or roof. Apparently, it’s a “convertible”, but I’m still waiting for it to convert into a real car.

My car may not be the fastest on the road, but it sure “auto”-mobile.

Never trust a car with a big dent in the side. It’s been “bumped” around too much.

I told my car to take me to the ‘nearest gas station’, but it simply wouldn’t “fuel me”.

You know you’re a bad driver when your car isn’t the only thing that’s auto-mobile.

When I was learning how to drive, I didn’t just hit the curb – I jumped it too. My instructor said I was “curb-ing my enthusiasm”.

If at first, you don’t succeed, try driving a different way. It’s not always about the destination, but the journey getting there.

I tried to change a fuse in my car on my own. It didn’t “go well”, so I’ll stick to driving instead.

When I found out my car was a hybrid, I asked if it needed a dietary change too.

My car’s headlights burned out, so I had to get them “re-lit-able”.

My car was so dirty, the trees tried to “leaf” when I drove past.

I saw a car with a bumper sticker that said “honk if you love peace and quiet”. I honked and they yelled “well, now I don’t.”

I asked my car if it’s okay to get into the driver’s seat, it replied “sure, just don’t “steer” me wrong”.

You know you’ve made a wrong turn when your GPS starts telling you to “make a U-ie” instead of giving directions.

My car’s personality changed after I gave it a fresh coat of paint – it went from “drab” to “fab”.

My car and I have a lot in common – we both have trouble starting on Monday mornings.

I tried to install voice recognition software in my car, but it just couldn’t understand my “road rage”.

I asked my car if it wanted to watch a movie, but it said it’s already seen the “car chase” scene too many times.

When my car’s engine started sputtering, I checked the manual for some “motor-vation”.

Car Pick-Up Lines

Car Pick-Up Lines

Are you an exhaust pipe? Because you’ve got me feeling hot under the hood.

Is your name GPS? Because you’ve got my heart going in the right direction.

Are you a convertible? Because every time I see you, I want to drop the top.

Can I take you for a spin? Because there’s something about you that drives me wild.

Is your dad a mechanic? Because you’ve got all the right curves in all the right places.

Are you a car battery? Because you’ve sparked an instant connection with me.

Can I rev your engine? Because I want to hear you purr all night long.

Excuse me, are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got “Fine” written all over you.

Are you a rearview mirror? Because every time I look at you, I see my future.

Is your name Tesla? Because you’re electrifying, and I’m positively charged by you.

I must be a car alarm, because every time I see you, my heart goes off.

Are you a traffic light? Because whenever I see you, everything else stops.

Can I be your air freshener? Because I don’t want to be in your car, I want to be by your side.

Is your name Turbo? Because you’ve got my heart racing like a high-performance engine.

Excuse me, can you help me? My car is having trouble starting, but I think you have the key to my heart.

Are you a set of wheels? Because you make my life go ’round.

Can you be my car’s fuel? Because you light up my world.

Is your name Autobahn? Because you’re fast and I’d love to take you for a ride.

Are you a transmission? Because you shift my world into a whole new gear.

Can I take you out for a drive? Because in my eyes, you’re a real “car-stopper.

Short Car Jokes

I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough, so now I’m a car mechanic.

My car was making strange noises, so I took it to a comedy club. Now it’s running on laughter.

Did you hear about the car that went for a swim? It wanted to be a converti-swim-ble.

I bought a car with no tires the other day. It was a total flat-out deal.

My car’s engine is so loud that it should come with earplugs and a concert ticket.

Why did the car bring a blanket to the race? Because it wanted to cover some ground.

I told my car a joke, and the engine started cracking up. I think it has a great sense of humor.

My friend tried to fix his car’s brakes with tape. It was a real stop-and-sticky situation.

Why did the car go to school? Because it wanted to improve its gas mileage.

I saw a car parked on a hill, and it gave me a lot of gas.

My car and I have a lot in common – we’re both getting older and making strange noises.

What do you call a car that won’t stop talking? Exhausting.

I took my car to the dentist because it had a “tooth”ache. Turns out, it needed a wheel alignment.

My car’s windshield wipers were so fast, they could give anyone a good shoulder workout.

I told my car that it needs to exercise more. Now it’s doing laps at the parking lot.

My car is so old, it measures its mileage in inches, not miles.

Why did the car apply for a credit card? It wanted to have some “auto”nomous spending.

My car wants to become a musician, but all it can play is the horn.

I went to a car-themed party, but I couldn’t get in because I didn’t have a “coupe”on.

I used to be afraid of speed bumps, but I got over it. Now, they don’t “slow me down.”

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