Who doesn’t love a good laugh or two? No matter how hard nurses work in the hospital, they have to find the time for laughter — especially when it’s about people like themselves.
After all, nurses are among the busiest professions today. And when they’re not tending to patients, they’re making sure that everyone is okay in the hospital environment.
Best Nurse Jokes
Did you hear about the nurse who swallowed a dictionary? She wanted to learn the definition of patients.
Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work? In case she needed to draw blood.
What do you call a nurse with a great sense of humor? A laughingstock.
Why did the nurse always carry a ladder? To reach the highest levels of care.
How does a nurse like their coffee? Depresso-free.
Why did the nurse go to art school? She wanted to provide exceptional drawing skills for patients.
What did the nurse say to the patient who kept cracking jokes? “You’re giving me a case of the giggles.”
What’s a nurse’s favorite part of a joke? The punchline.
Why did the nurse become a gardener? She wanted to help plants heal with TLC: Tender Loving Chlorophyll.
What do you call a nurse who sleeps on the job? Artificial resnoresation.
How do nurses communicate on Halloween? They use bad tricker-treatment.
Why did the nurse’s notes sound like a lullaby? They put patients to sleep.
What’s a nurse’s favorite kind of music? Hip-hop, because it’s great for heartbeats.
Why did the nurse become a detective? She loved solving medical mysteries.
What did the nurse say when she won the lottery? “I’m no longer practicing—I’m prescribing.”
Nurse Puns
I used to be a baker, but I decided to become a nurse because kneading dough just wasn’t my “bread and butter.
When the nurse had a stomachache, she diagnosed herself with “gut feelings.”
The nurse who worked in the orthopedic department had a great “bone” structure.
As a nurse, I have a “heartfelt” desire to heal and care for others.
Nurses have a “vein” sense of humor—they’re always ready to “needle” you with a joke.
When the nurse applied for a job at the cosmetic surgery clinic, they asked if she had “face-ility” with the patients.
The nurse loved seafood so much that she wore a “scallop” dress to work.
The nurse was tired of being stuck in traffic, so she said, “I need to ‘artery’ my way through this.”
A nurse’s favorite kind of music is “hip-hop” because it gets hearts pumping!
The nurse always carries an extra pen—it’s her “write” hand assistant.
Did you hear about the nurse who got an award? She was recognized for her “punny-cure” humor.
When the nurse wanted to relax, she practiced “patient therapy” with a good book.
Nurses are great at keeping secrets—they’re masters of “hippocrit-ical” information.
The nurse’s favorite sport is bowling—she’s a pro at “striking” up conversations.
Why did the nurse take up gardening? She loves observing the “healing powers” of plants.
Nurse One-Liners
Nurses have great patience—it’s a “strong suit” in our scrubs.
I asked the nurse if she had a prescription for laughter—she said it was “doctor-approved.”
Nurses know how to “band-aid” your problems and make them feel better.
Being a nurse is like wearing a superhero cape—we save lives “scrub by scrub.”
The nurse’s favorite video game? “Operation”!
Nurses are experts at “injecting” humor into any situation.
You know you’re a nurse when you can’t resist saying “bless you” when someone coughs.
The secret to a nurse’s energy levels? A daily dose of “caffeine and caring.”
Nurses are skilled multitaskers—razor-sharp focus and a “stethescope” on every detail.
Why did the nurse bring a ladder to work? To “reach” the highest levels of care.
The nurse’s first name must be Pat—she’s always ready to “patch” things up.
Laughter is the best medicine, but a nurse’s smile is a close second.
Nurses have the best “bedside manners”—we’re experts in comfort and care.
A nurse’s favorite dance move? The “visceral shuffle.”
Being a nurse is like being a pilot—we navigate through waves of challenges and keep patients soaring.
Short Nurse Jokes
Why did the nurse decide to retire? She felt like she had “scrubbed” in long enough.
What do you call a nurse who’s always on the move? A roamin’ “nurse-practitioner”.
Why did the nurse cross the road? To get to the other “healthcare facility”.
Why did the nurse always carry a red pen? In case she had to “draw” blood.
What do you call a nurse with a bad cold? A “flewover nurse”.
Did you hear about the nurse who got “mugged”—by a catheter?
What did the nurse say to the patient who kept coughing? “You need a coughy break.”
Why did the nurse take a ladder to work? To “step up” her care.
What’s a nurse’s favorite kind of shoe? “Healthcare”.
What did the nurse say when she got a shot? “Nurse, I think I’m getting a little “vaxed”ated.”
Why did the nurse become a gardener? To help plants “heal” with TLC: Tender Loving “Chlorophyll”.
What do you call a nurse who’s always interrupting? An “anesthetized”.
The nurse’s favorite month of the year? “Feboo-bury”.
What’s a nurse’s favorite kind of cookie? “Oatmealy-ologist”.
Why did the nurse put a Red Bull in the patient’s IV? To give them “wings” and help them “fly” through recovery.