Are you a weightlifter or weightlifting fan? Or are you just someone who likes to read fitness jokes. If so, this “joke list” is just for you.
They’re nobody’s idea of ha-ha funny, but they do help keep the mind away from how your back feels when you pick up a barbell. Designed to let you laugh while in the gym. The laughs are waiting for you on this list.
Here are 40 weightlifting jokes to help you remember why you lift.
Weightlifting Jokes
Bench-pressing is a real weighty matter.
My gym is amazing, every day is a real heavyset.
Did you hear about the weightlifter who started a successful bakery? He kneaded the dough with upper-body strength.
Weightlifters make the best secret agents because they always know how to lift the heaviest secrets.
I used to date a weightlifter, but we broke up because he was a bit too dumb-bell for me.
Did you hear about the weightlifter who opened his own zoo? He’s known for deadlifting the animals.
Why did the weightlifter take up Taekwondo? Because he wanted to kick some mass and lift the bar to new heights
Weightlifting is like math: you can always count on it to add some muscle to your life.
Why did the weightlifter get a gym membership? He wanted to press forward in life.
I’m not saying I’m strong, but I can carry in all the groceries in one trip – it’s my personal bestreps.
Have you heard of the weightlifting competition for cats? It’s called the purrfect clean and jerk.
My weightlifting coach said I need to “break the ice” while lifting, so I went and benched my ex’s car.
Did you hear about the weightlifter who tried to become a comedian? He’s known for his ripped-roaring jokes.
What’s a weightlifter’s favorite kind of sandwich? One that’s stacked with protein.
My weightlifting buddy tried to open his own fitness clothing store. It didn’t work out, so he ended up with a squat sale!
Weightlifting Puns
Why did the weightlifter bring a ladder to the gym? Because he wanted to reach new “high reps”.
How does a weightlifter do their laundry? They use “heavy-duty” detergent.
Did you hear about the weightlifter who opened a bakery? Instead of bread, they specialize in “protein doughnuts.
Why did the weightlifter start a garden? Because they wanted to grow “muscletuce” and “squash those PRs.
What do weightlifters use to take notes? A “bench press”.
How do weightlifters turn on the lights? They “snatch” the switch.
Why was the weightlifting contest held in a bakery? Because they needed to find the “best buns”.
What do weightlifters do to relax after a workout? They enjoy some “dumb-bell-hopscotch”.
How did the weightlifter break up with their significant other? They said, “Sorry, but you’re just not my “lift” partner”.
Why did the weightlifter bring a ladder to the weightlifting competition? To “climb to the top” of the rankings.
What’s a weightlifter’s favorite song? “Lift it Like it’s Hot”.
Why don’t weightlifters ever quit? Because they know that “giving up is for lightweight”.
What did the weightlifter ask the nutritionist? “Do you have any “mega-munchies” for muscle growth?”
How does a weightlifter like their coffee? “Dark roast with a side of “protein power”.
What did the weightlifter say to the mirror? “I can’t stop “flexing” myself”.
Weightlifting Pick-Up Lines
Are you a weightlifter? Because you just lifted my heart with those strong arms.
Is your name Squat? Because every time I see you, my knees go weak.
Do you believe in love at first rep? Because you’re definitely my perfect match.
Are you a barbell? Because I want to snatch you up and never let you go.
Do you have a spotter? Because I’d love to be there to support you in all your lifts.
Can I borrow your weightlifting belt? Because you’re the one who takes my breath away.
Are you a weight plate? Because you add a ton of beauty to this gym.
Is your name Jerk? Because you’re everything I’ve been clean and pressing for.
Do you believe in destiny? Because it seems like fate keeps bringing us to the same lifting platform.
Can I take you out for a protein shake? Because I’m hungry for gains, and you’re the perfect workout partner.