I hear this time of year is one of those awkward times where people get together, say hi and smile, there is a lot of food and presents but you don’t really have to like the people you are with.
Maybe it’s the weather and the chill in the air, but thinking of Christmas is so summery and festive. If you’re anything like me, you start playing Christmas music in October or even September.
It seems to get earlier every year. However, now is the time we should actually contemplate whether it’s time to exchange gifts and make merry with family and friends.
I heard some people even pretend to like the food when they don’t. If that sounds familiar, I present, 40 December Jokes:
Best December Jokes
Why did the scarecrow win an award in December? Because he was outstanding in his field!
What did the snowman say to the skeptical yeti? “I’m not just a flake, I’m a snow-all!”
Why was the math book sad in December? Because it had too many “decisions” to solve!
How do Christmas angels greet each other? “Halo there!”
What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frost-bite!
Why did the gingerbread man open a bakery? Because he kneaded some dough!
How do snowmen travel around? By riding the “icicle”!
What is a snowman’s favorite breakfast? Frosty flakes!
How do Christmas trees keep their data safe? Through “tree-nk encryption”!
Why did Santa go to music school? Because he wanted to improve his “wrap” skills!
Why did December break up with June? It just couldn’t handle their summer fling
Why did Santa’s helper start gardening in December? Because he heard him say, “ho ho hoe”!
How do sheep in New Zealand say “Merry Christmas? “Fleece Navidad”!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinselitis!
What do you call Santa when he takes a break? Santa Pause!
December Puns
What do you call a line of elves waiting to use the restroom? A toy-let queue.
Why did the piano break in December? Because the keys were frozen.
Why do reindeer always know what time it is? Because they are always in the “North Pole.”
Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? To get tinsel-ed up.
How do you describe a snowman in sunglasses? Chill-ier.
Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? Because they always drop their needles.
How does Santa keep track of all his helpers? With his eye-deer.
Why don’t reindeer like holidays? Because they are sleighed with work.
Why did the snowman refuse to talk? Because he didn’t want to give the cold shoulder.
What do snowmen like to do on weekends? Chill out and relax.
How do snowmen stay fit? They do icesercise!
Why did the Grinch break into a music shop? To steal the fa-la-la-la-la.
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
What do you call a group of carolers waiting to cross the street? Choirs of Angels!
Why did Elf refuse to come to work in December? He was frozen by the salary!
December One-Liners
December: when days get shorter and to-do lists get longer.
‘Tis the season to be jolly… and slightly overwhelmed.
December: the month that sneaks up on you like Santa down a chimney.
I asked Santa for a body like hers, now I’m waiting for Christmas miracles.
Deck the halls with boughs of holly, or just buy a pre-lit Christmas tree!
December: the time when diets go on vacation until January.
Twinkle lights are just regular lights with their holiday spirit turned on.
The only time it’s acceptable to wear a sweater with flashing lights on it.
December nights: perfect for sipping hot cocoa and binge-watching holiday movies.
The weather outside is frightful, but the holiday sales are so delightful!