Ah, the mystical creature known as the student. They roam the halls of academia with a backpack full of hopes, dreams, and snacks. With textbooks as their battle gear and homework as their nemesis, they navigate the treacherous lands of education, occasionally stumbling upon the hidden oasis of procrastination.
Here’s a list of 80 jokes you can tell your students. They’re all very clean and beginner friendly. I’ve removed like, totally, um, basically, basically, honestly, and really to keep your lesson moving. All the good stuff is still in there though.
Best Student Jokes
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite.
Why did the student eat their homework? Because the teacher said it was a “piece of cake.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
Why was the student’s computer cold? It left its Windows open.
What’s the best way to learn about history? Live through it.
What kind of music do planets like? Neptunes.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
Why did the student take a ladder to school? To reach the high grades.
Why did the student bring a basketball to class? To shoot for the stars.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
How does the moon cut its hair? Eclipse it.
Why did the student eat a clock? To go back for seconds.
Why don’t scientists trust stairs? Because they’re always up to something.
Why did the librarian slip and fall? She was in the non-friction section.
How do you get straight A’s? By using a ruler.
What do you call a student who won’t laugh at their teacher’s jokes? Well-disciplined.
How do you know if a math teacher is hungry? They’ll start to calculate.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
Why did the teacher write the lesson on the window? To make sure the class was “getting the picture.
Student One-Liners
My teacher said I’m average. I think she’s mean.
I used to be a straight-A student, but then the alphabet got longer.
I failed my math test, but it’s not my fault. The teacher asked me “What’s 9 + 10?” So, I replied, “21” because it’s a funny Vine reference.
A book just fell on my head… I’ve only got my shelf to blame.
My handwriting is so bad, even the doctors can’t read it.
I don’t need a hairstylist; I have a pencil.
I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
I told my teacher I had a joke about chemistry. She replied, “Well, don’t be so boron.”
I always find ideas in the last place I look—my pencil case.
My teacher told me I still have a lot to learn. Luckily, she’s there to teach me all of it.
I’m not a procrastinator. I just like to do things later in the day.
My computer screen is brighter than my future.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
I don’t need a bookmark. I can remember the page number by folding the corner.
My studying style is a combination of “last-minute panic” and “caffeine-fueled cramming.
I asked the math teacher what his favorite type of music was. He said “algebraic” because it has its ‘equations.’
I’m not a control freak, but I just really like being in charge of the TV remote during study breaks.
My teacher says I have a bright future ahead. I guess I should stop wearing sunglasses indoors.
The best way to appreciate school is to have a good lunch break strategy.
Student Puns
What do you call a horse that can’t do simple math? A neigh-sayer.
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
I failed my geometry test on angles. It was acute disappointment.
I was studying for my history test, but it felt like everything was just water under the bridge.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party? Because you can’t drink and derive.
The teacher confiscated my phone today. I guess I just don’t have a “cell” for learning.
Why did the student break up with their math tutor? They said it just wasn’t adding up.
I got a job as a professional cuddler, but I got tired of it because it was just a massive hug-scam.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
I failed my biology exam. There were too many fungi answers.
Some students don’t like math, but I think it’s a “fraction” of my daily life.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine.
My teacher told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
I’m trying to learn sign language but it’s really hard to get a grip on it.
I was going to tell a joke about chemistry, but I didn’t think it would get a good reaction.
When the frozen yogurt machine at the school cafeteria broke down, it was pretty “dessert-ifying”.
Why are ghosts bad liars? Because they’re easy to see through.
The school piano sounds a little off-tune lately. It’s been needing a rest.
Short Student Jokes
I asked the teacher if I could be excused from class. She said, “Why?” I replied, “No reason, I just want to leave.”
Why did the student take a pencil to bed? To draw their dreams.
I asked my math teacher if I could borrow a pen. She replied, “Sine me up for that!”
Which school supply is always tired? The nap-kin.
Why did the student bring a ladder to school? For high-level thinking.
What’s a student’s favorite type of shoe? Skip-flops for skipping classes.
Did you hear about the student who fell asleep during history class? They got in trouble for rewriting history with a nap.
What do you call a student who doesn’t share their pencil? A pencilfisher.
Why don’t some students study in the dark? Because then they can’t highlight anything.
What did the student say when their pencil was running low on lead? “I need to pencil-in a refill.”
Why did the notebook go for a walk? To exercise its rights as a writing utensil.
Why did the student bring a dictionary to the gym? To “look up” some exercise routines.
Why did the student eat their homework? Their dog didn’t show up for snack time.
What do you call a student who tells bad jokes? A class clown-derachiever.
Why did the student bring a sponge to school? To soak up all the knowledge.
What type of music do students listen to while studying? Con-scentrations music.
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses during the online class? Because their students were “blinding” them with their brilliance.
What did the math book say to the history book? “I’ve got problems, but you’ve got too many dates.”
Why did the student put their report card through the shredder? To turn their grades into confetti.
How did the student feel when they solved a difficult equation? Absolutely brilliant, like a math magician.