60 Cucumber Jokes

I have a small confession to make: I love puns. Whether they are bad or good, funny or cringe-worthy, I can’t help but let one slip out. It’s a habit I’ve had since childhood that has come and gone over the years.

Cucumbers are members of the plant family Cucurbitaceae, which also includes squashes and melons

Cucumbers are great, and so when you’ve got one that’s about to go bad, use these jokes as a way to welcome it into your life I mean, what’s up with the pickling? What’s up with Dill? Here are 60 cucumber jokes you could tell at the office:

Hilarious Cucumber Jokes

What did the cucumber say to the pickle? You mean a dill to me.

Why did the cucumber go to school? To get a little extra “a-cuke-demic” knowledge.

How do you make a cucumber laugh? You tickle its pickles.

Why was the cucumber so good at basketball? It always had the perfect pick-and-roll.

What did the cucumber say to its annoying friend? Stop being such a dill-weed.

Why did the cucumber need a lawyer? It was in a pickle.

What do you call a cucumber on a skateboard? A “cruisin’-cuke”.

How did the cucumber respond when it won the lottery? Oh, dill-yeah.

Why did the cucumber never win a race? It couldn’t ketchup.

What did the cucumber do to make everyone laugh? It pulled some gherkins out of its sleeve.

Why are cucumbers so cool? They have natural “cuke-linary” skills.

How did the cucumber find a date for the dance? It “picked-out” a nice radish to go with.

What did the cucumber say when it saw a cucumber-shaped sports car? Look at that slicer on wheels.

Why was the cucumber always an early riser? It never wanted to miss the morning “cuke-train”.

What’s a cucumber’s favorite music genre? Pickle Roll.

Cucumber Puns

What did the cucumber say to the tomato at the salad bar? Lettuce romaine friends forever.

How did the cucumber win the race? It used its extra peel power.

Why did the cucumber get invited to all the parties? It had a great dill sense of humor.

What do you call a cucumber that’s good at solving problems? A pickle mastermind.

Why did the cucumber turn red? It saw the salad dressing getting undressed.

How do cucumbers celebrate their birthdays? With a big dill blowout.

What did the cucumber say to the watermelon on a hot summer day? “You’re looking melon-choly, how about a cool cucumber hug?”

What goes on vacation and becomes more relaxed? A cucumber on a pick-leisure trip.

Why was the cucumber always looking out for its friends? It believed in world pickle.

How do you know if a cucumber is hiding something? It acts like it has something to brine about.

What do you call a cucumber who tells jokes underwater? A sea-cucumber comedian.

Why did the cucumber bring a parachute? It wanted to go skydiving and take the plunge.

What did the cucumber say to the bee? “Stop buzzing around me, I’m not in a pickle.”

How do you cucumbers stay in shape? They go to the gym and do a lot of pickle-ups.

What did the cucumber say when it joined the band? I’m all pickled and ready to jam!

Cucumber Pick-Up Lines

Excuse me, but my dill-ightful heart is pickling for you.

“Are you a cucumber? Because you’re looking like the perfect snack for me.

Do you believe in love at first bite? Because this cucumber is certainly appealing to me.”

I’m getting mint vibes from you, but I think you’d go better with a cool cucumber like me.

“You must be a cucumber, because every time I see you, I get fresher and fresher.”

“How about we take this pickle and turn it into something sweet, like a cucumber smoothie together?”

“I bet a slice of cucumber is the only thing missing from my salad of life, care to be that missing ingredient?”

“If you think I’m crisp and refreshing on the outside, just wait until you see my sweet and juicier side.”

“I heard that the best place to find love is at the farmer’s market, care to pick me up like a ripe cucumber?”

“You know what they say about cucumbers, the bigger the better… and that’s certainly true for my feelings for you.”

Did you just come from the garden of love? Because you’re giving me all sorts of fresh cucumber-pick-me-up feelings.”

“I didn’t know what refreshment truly meant until I saw you, care to share a cool cucumber with me and show me the way?”

“You make my heart race like a hot summer day, but you also chill me out like a cool cucumber slice.”

“People always say stay hydrated, but with you by my side, all I need is a fresh cucumber and your company.”

“I must be a farmer, because I can’t stop picking you up and admiring your cucumbers.”

Short Cucumber Puns

Cucumbers: the dill-ightful pick.

School for cucumbers: pickled-ucation.

Shy cucumber: struggles to break the ice.

Cucumber to the celery: “Stop stalking, it’s dill-irious.

Promotion for cucumbers: pickle-ing skills pay off.

Popular cucumber: great pick-up lime-liner.

Therapy for cucumber: peeling back layers.

Cucumber after workout: pickled in a salad.

Cucumber at poker: can’t keep a straight peel.

Funny cucumber: pickle-up comedian.

Unicorn cucumber: carrot horn transformation.

Musical cucumber: serious gherkin skills.

Laughing cucumber: a pickle in a pickle.

Yoga cucumber: flexible to avoid pickles.

Winning cucumber: pickle-ing fast marathon pace.