It’s that time of year again! Festive season has sprung, and we’re all looking forward to the most iconic month of the Irish calendar – March. Of course, with more days of leprechauns, pints, and celebrations in March comes the inevitable jokes.
Wanna make sure everyone is laughing at your next event or party? Get a batch of these jokes to share with your friends, family and coworkers.
Funny March Jokes
Why did the calendar go to therapy?
Because it had too many March-es
How do mountain lions say “March?
Roar-ch!
Why did the lion eat on March 1st?
Because it was a “lion” around the calendar!
What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks in March?
A “Labra-cadabra-dor”!
Why did the scarecrow go on vacation in March?
Because it needed a “spring” break!
How do you fix a broken March?
With a “spring” coil!
What did one flower say to the other in March?
“Hey bud, let’s bloom!”
What do you call a rainy day in March?
A “showery” business
What do you get when you combine a leprechaun and March?
A “luck”y month
What is a frog’s favorite month?
“Leap” year in March
Why was the math book sad in March?
Because it had too many “story” problems
What do you call a funny grape in March?
A “joke-in”
Why did the basketball player bring a ladder to the game in March?
They wanted to “shoot” for the stars!
How do you know when a clock is hungry in March?
It goes back four seconds
What does a tornado do in March?
It “twister” way into spring weather!
March Puns
I can’t believe March is here…springing on us like that
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite.
I went on a date with someone who worked in a calendar factory. I told them it felt like we were going months.
I’m not saying I don’t like St. Patrick’s Day, but it does add a lot of shamrock to my routine.
Why don’t stoners celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? Because they don’t need an excuse to get high.
What’s a marcher’s favorite drink? Lemon AID
If you ever receive a gift in March, be sure to tell the giver it’s just what the leprechaun ordered.
The superstitious say that if you don’t tie a clover to your bike in March, you’ll be pedal-ting backwards all year.
I threw a farewell party for winter in March, but I think I jumped the gun-snow.
I thought I wanted to work in an orange juice factory, but I just couldn’t concentrate.
I tried to catch some fog in March, but I mist.
I once saw a March bird who appeared to be drunk. Turned out it was a little slurret.
My aunt used to joke that she March’s to the beat of her own drum. It’s too bad she only had one foot.
I heard someone in March say they were feeling rather ill. Must have been the spring fever!
Why did the banana go to the doctor in March? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
March One-Liners Jokes
Marching bands are just groups of people who love walking in time to music… or they’re just really lost parades.
“March” is a great month for optimists. It’s like saying, “Hey, winter is over… maybe!”
Why did the teacher bring an umbrella to school in March? To give her “April showers” lesson a head start!
March is like a sandwich – it starts with a little winter, then some spring, and as it ends, you can finally taste summer.
When it comes to budgeting in March, I save my money for the most important purchase – ice cream!
They say that March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. More like, it comes in like a lion and goes out like a slightly less grumpy lion.
March is a month of unpredictable weather patterns and outfit choices that require a Ph.D. in layering.
A cautionary tale for March: Be careful with those March Madness brackets, or you might find your sanity ruined by a team called “Upset City.”
March is the month where I remember that New Year’s resolutions are just long-forgotten dreams in disguise.
Marching to the beat of your own drum is great, but make sure it’s not playing a tune from December.
Remember, in March, you can’t always trust the groundhog’s predictions. If it sees its shadow, it’s likely just checking its makeup.
They say patience is a virtue, especially in March when you’re waiting for spring to finally arrive. Can I get a refund on patience?
March is when I try to convince myself that spring cleaning is fun. It’s like a whole month dedicated to finding misplaced socks.
March is the perfect month to catch up on all the hobbies you neglected in January and February… and probably still neglect in April.
The problem with March is that it’s the middle child of seasons. It’s not as exciting as summer, not as cozy as winter, and not as colorful as fall. Poor March.
Short March Puns
March is a month “out of line” – it’s always skipping forward or springing back!
What is a squirrel’s favorite sport in March? Nutball!
Why did the calendar go on a diet in March? To lose some dates!
People say March brings showers, but I prefer it when it rains “cats and frogs!
Did you hear about the tree that won the March Madness tournament? It was awarded the “branch” trophy!
Why was the math book sad in March? Because it had too many problems!
Why did the bicycle fall over in March? It was “tire-d” of standing!
What’s the best type of dance for a March kangaroo? The “hop-eration”!
How does March greet April? With a “shower” of affection!
Why did the clock go on a diet in March? It wanted to shed some “pounds of time”!
March is like a cup of tea – it’s always brewing something new!
Why don’t tennis players like March? The changing weather makes it difficult to “serve”!
What did the tree do when it was selected as March’s “Tree of the Month”? It “branched” out in excitement!
March is the month when birds practice their “tweeting” for the upcoming spring concert!
Did you hear about the clumsy calendar in March? It fell down because its days were “unorganized”
March Riddles
What did the calendar say to February in March?
“Sorry for the delay, but it’s time for you to march on!”
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants to the golf course in March?
Just in case they got a hole-in-one and couldn’t contain their excitement!
What’s the favorite dance move of a leprechaun in March?
The “Irish Jiggle”!
Why did the football team bring a ladder to their March game?
They heard their opponents were outstanding jumpers!
How does March make sure things stay in place?
When it comes to organizing, it always has a “spring” in its step!
Why did the snowman refuse to visit the beach in March?
He didn’t want to get a “melt” down
What did one raindrop say to the other in March?
Lettuce make it rain!
Why do bees have sticky hair in March?
Because they use “honeycombs”
What do you call a day with unpredictable weather in March?
A “meteorological rollercoaster”
How do trees greet each other in March?
With a “budding” friendship
Why did the lion eat its lunch in March?
Because the zookeeper said it was “Marching Fish!
Why did the baker bring shamrocks to work in March?
They kneaded some good luck in their dough!
When is a door not actually a door in March?
When it’s ajar-red for spring!
Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way in March?
It lost its bearings and got caught in a “cycle” of confusion!
March is the month when jokes become “spring-loaded” – they’re full of surprises and bound to make you laugh.
March 31st Jokes
Why do people never play pranks on March 31st?
Because it’s a foolproof day
Did you hear about the calendar that got into a fight on March 31st?
Yeah, it just couldn’t handle one more day of the month!
Why did the computer go on strike on March 31st?
It got tired of all the April Fools’ viruses!
What did the stamp say to the envelope on March 31st?
“I can’t wait for April to stamp its arrival!”
How do you know the sun is excited for April on March 31st?
It’s already shining its April rays!
Why did the math book not want to go outside on March 31st?
It was afraid of encountering more word problems
What did the March calendar say to the April calendar?
“Sorry for all the days, April, it’s finally your turn!”
Why did the banana start telling jokes on March 31st?
It wanted to peel the tension of the month!
What did the basketball hoop say to the basketball on March 31st?
“Get ready for some April dunks!”
Why did the squirrel bring an umbrella on March 31st?
It heard April showers could come early!
Why was the broom feeling down on March 31st?
It knew it only had one day left to sweep away the month’s dirt!
How do fish celebrate March 31st?
They have a “fin-tastic” fish parade before diving into April!
What did the clock say when it struck midnight on March 31st?
“April Fool’s! Time to reset!”
Why did the chef start preparing April 1st’s meals on March 31st?
Because he wanted to get a “head start” on April Fool’s feasts!
On March 31st, even the birds were feeling jolly and singing a special tune called “April Chirps”!